Beyond all the half-priced candy, one thing we like about going to the store after Christmas is the sudden arrival of pallets of storage supplies -- it holds out the hope that if you just buy the right plastic bins, you'll be free of all the clutter that's built up during the year. And so we bring you our own efforts at cleaning out the muck: A bunch of detritus from the comments queue, which we now won't have to think about any more. Let's start with some people we have upset with our unwarranted cruelty. For some reason, our piece on Barack Obama wearing a tiara while taking a photo with some girl scouts rubbed a few people the wrong way, perhaps because we said wearing a tiara betrayed Barack Hussein Obama's desire for absolute power. "Thea" took us to task for being so mean to a decent, honorable man:

Really? Your obsession is showing. This once great land? Stop overreacting, it's as boring and ridiculous as this piece.

And we lost all the credibility that we'd carefully built up with "jron," who just won't trust us anymore:

REALLY? You are writing this crap? My appreciation for Wonkette just dropped by like 1000%.. He was being great with some little girls.. You guys are just being assholes.

This frankly makes us sad. Apparently, jron has been reading Wonkette for years and loved us a whole bunch, but then we simply went too far and he now no longer holds us in esteem.

Needless to say, our piece on the fundamentalist vegan faith-healers who let their toddler die rather than seek medical attention for a treatable infection drew some flak, including five attempts at posting the same comment by "ArizonaNurse," who used to be a fan but now is not anymore, because we are racist against vegans:

I've submitted this comment several times but you haven't published it. I've been a fan of Wonkette but was disappointed with this disingenuous blog, and especially that you refuse to post my comments below:

Really?? Using a case of blatant child neglect to bash vegans? This child clearly died due to lack of medical care and dehydration, which responsible parents -- whether carnivorous or vegan -- would not allow to happen. Doktor Zoom, however, does not let facts get in the way of his anti-vegan rant. Also, the NY Times article he quotes that promotes dairy and trashes soy was authored by raw milk, butter, and lard promoter Nina Planck, who has absolutely no medical expertise, but does own a raw milk and cheese company. Is this the type of expert Wonkette is promoting?

Of the many political and rhetorical offenses of which we've been accused, we have to say that being in bed with Big Lard is pretty much our favorite.

Our journalisming was also not up to the high standards of one "Shackleford464," who took issue with Yr Editrix's piece on the foofaraw over editorial changes at The New Republic. In her intro to the piece, Trix had asked, "Am I, lowly vulgar vile owner of Wonkette.com, about to school the august staff of The New Republic on ethics in magazine journalism? You fucking betcha!" Shackleford464 was very disappointed with her efforts!

my god, this person may be (MAY BE) qualified to talk about ethics of journalism, but she needs to learn how to write a coherent article. I've seen worse in intro to journalism classes, but that doesn't mean this should be published

Protip: When you're going to accuse someone of not writing well enough for an intro to journalism class, you may want to (1:) make sure your own capitalization and punctuation are flawless, and (B:) be ready to have it pointed out that the person you're griping about not only has a Master's degree in "Specialized Journalism of Urban Studies" but has herself taught journalism at a university or two. Credentials are fun! Needless to say, you are then perfectly free to retort that said credentials and job history only demonstrate how low the standards of academe have fallen, oh dear me.

Our piece on Michele Bachmann's well-founded worries that Barack Obama is pushing an agenda of "Islamic Jihad" -- by seeking allies in the fight against ISIS -- drew this note of Deep Concern from "B," who at least gets credit for an economical username:

Obama is going to kill us all, I don't know why people vote for this guy. Too much blood is already on his hands, how does he sleep at night ? Every child, mother, father brother sister whoevers died at hands of ISIS is all on Obama, this guy needs to retire as president and leave office before we're all dead because of him. I like the guy but damn is he mindless, hes costing lives and everything. This is why I don't want to bring a child into a world like this.

Not merely costing lives, but everything, as well. Because we will all be dead, and darn you, Barack Obama, you have frightened some poor soul out of reproducing. There's the real tragedy, we think, and everything.

Obviously, since we're tidying up this weekend, we also have some older comments to share. For instance, from the Facebook, our piece on the confirmation, finally, of Vivek Murthy as Surgeon General drew this note of caution from one "Sheldon Young," who isn't racist but just wants to point out a little fact that should worry everyone:

I know every one will yell racist, but I am not, but it seems every time Obama appoints someone they are either, muslim, hindu or buddist. Dont we have any White Americans for these jobs, as they appear to be infiltrating govt, which makes me nervous

We certainly share Sheldon's worries about the rampaging Buddhist mafia in the government, and hope that the media will pay proper attention.

In reply to an October piece about Jimmy John's sandwich shop workers being forced to sign a (probably invalid) "non-compete" agreement, we heard from "hammerstrike 78," who has strong opinions on letting the rabble think that they should be paid a living wage, anywhere:

Thank god there's no fast food "union". The fact is that most fast food workers are kids or retirees. If you hate your job so much....quit! That's the beauty of capitalism....there's more options! I'm sick of people complaing and whining about it. Don't like the way things are? Quit voting Dem or Rep!! Vote third party! Libetarianism is an option.

If you don't like your sweatshop, go find another sweatshop that pays more! This is just logic. And stop complaining, unless you are a libertarian, in which case it is just speaking truth, not complaining.

Our piece on the rift between Ted Cruz and Pat Robertson got this earnest reply from "JustAnAmerican2," who would like us to know that Ted Cruz is in the business of making history!

I strongly encourage every American to listen to Senator Cruz's historic speech in the Senate on Dec 13, 2014. ( Follow that up with his own rebuttal to this hit piece on Sean Hannity today. Senator Cruz excoriated Democrats for unconstitutional vote-pandering; and Republicans for deceiving their voters to pay off lobbied interests via this needless lame-duck session. They are scared of Cruz's ability to win the hearts and minds of voters. Mitch's sponsors were shocked into attack mode when Cruz got 25 of 45 Republican senators to stand for lawfulness with him. Mitch could only keep 20 on his side despite his power of the whip. They just witnessed the changing of the Republican guard. So the establishment let loose on Cruz through all media outlets to try to put the genie back in the bottle -- good luck with that!

Gosh, JustAnAmerican2, thanks for that. We were on the verge of being swayed by Mitch McConnell's silver-tongued lies. Surely this Ted Cruz fellow is a force to be reckoned with!

From "maryedornan," someone claiming to be a granddaughter of Robert "B-1 Bob" Dornan, we got this impassioned reply to a 2006 piece by Alex Pareene about Dornan's unsuccessful attempt to return to Congress that year:

You uneducated rednecks! That's my grandfather your talking about! How dare you insult his honor. Did YOU receive a Nobel Peace Prize? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!My grandfather is a wonderful man, yet you put him up to ridicule!!!!!! I hope Santa decks more than the halls this year dirtbag!

We dunno -- either a Dornan descendant thinks her grandpa won a Nobel Peace Prize, or some troll is trying to smear a real granddaughter of B-1 Bob by sending out pure idiocy in her name, or... ??? It's the internet, man.

And finally, a late reply, from "Thatsterriboool," to our surprise that Louisiana elected a Republican who thinks global warming is real (although he won't personally try to do anything about it much, except hoping the free market will save us all). Even that mild nod to scientific reality was too much for Thatsterriboool, who knows the real truth of global warming: it's all a scam by millionaire climate scientists and feminists, too, or something:

How do we know that the whole man made (I'm sorry, anthropogenic - can't offend anyone with a scientific theory by making it part of the phallocracy) global warming thing is a hoax? Why, by observing the actions of those who scream the loudest about it! Whether you're flying in a private jet, installing LED bulbs in one of your four vacation homes, or selling your share in a company for $100,000,000 in oil money, nothing says "I believe in the science" more than living a life of conspicuous consumption. But then again, it's never the vanguard that's supposed to suffer, right?

Damn straight! We're sort of wondering how well all that class envy will play with his friends at the Cato Institute, but nothing proves a scientific point like the indisputable fact that all climate scientists have private jets, four homes, and trust funds.

Update: Even as we were prepping this post, we got a brand new comment on today's story about Saudi Arabia's idiotic crackdown on women driving, from astute cultural observer "word696969":

Thank God for the Religion of Peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, that is a knee-slapper, indeed! Islam is so barbaric! Which is why the article notes that two of the women being prosecuted for driving under the influence of estrogen had driven into Saudi Arabia from the United Arab Emirates, which has apparently freed itself from Islam.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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