Democratic Congresscritter Wannabe Can Shoot Guns Just As Good As Anyone
We're always secretly happy when some Democrat does something especially stupid, because then we can write about it and beat back the ceaseless tide of "wahhhhhhhh Wonkette only makes fun of Republicans wahhhhhhh" that we have to deal with daily. Because of that, we're pretty excited to meet Estakio Beltran, who is running for Congress in a super-conservative part of Washington state in which he likely has no chance at all, which is perhaps why he released this doofus-y ad in which he cruelly murders a pinata.
The ad opens with Beltran in the high desert steppe staring off presumably across the 4th Congressional District. Then a voice-over:
“They call me a long shot. They say I can’t win in this district,” Beltran is heard saying as he takes aim at the stuffed party favor. “But what happens to an elephant that stands around doing nothing for too long?”
Bang. The elephant takes one, and by appearances directly to the gluteus maximus. Seconds later the ad ends with Beltran riding off on a donkey toward Washington, D.C.
See, this is the problem when politicians do funny. The long shot thing is in no way related to the elephant thing, unless you're saying that you're going to beat the odds by shooting your way to victory, which seems a bit much. But to be fair, we'd go out into the desert and shoot the hell out of a pinata too, so we're down with whatever thinly veiled reason you need to give yourself to do that, and it is not even close to being as weird as the demon sheep ad, but the demon sheep ad is a thing that will never be equaled while we dwell on this earth.
Also too, dude had to show himself shooting something, because he's running against Republicans.
[E]ight Republicans have signed on for the Aug. 5 primary, including former state director of agriculture Dan Newhouse and Tea Party-backed candidate and former professional football player Clint Didier. The top two candidates in the primary will advance to the general election in November.
The Herald reported that Beltran’s display is the latest effort by a candidate to show an affinity for firearms. Didier has raffled away three weapons, while Newhouse is seen walking with a rifle in his own campaign ad.
Is it too much to hope that they all just shoot each other at some point?