On Sunday night, three grown-ass people stood on a stage and discussed issues facing Americans, like climate change and how it is indisputably bad; like healthcare for every man (women didn't come up quite so much) and how that is good; like Republicans' xenophobia and bloodlust and jaw-dropping dumbassery and how that would be LOL if it weren't so depressing and dangerous to the future of the United States of the World.

It was nice to watch grown-ups who want to be leader of the free world talk like grown-ups, wasn't it?

Did Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton have some heated exchanges? Kind of. "You love guns all the much, Bernie!" "Well, you love Wall Street all the many, Hillary!" "Can't I please say some words, please?" "No, Martin O'Malley, you cannot, and why are you even here?"

[contextly_sidebar id="i8wB6DWWFgp7aT2Afr5P3eQ84iBWO8qD"]But nothing the two Democratic presidential candidates, plus O'Malley, said at each other's faces came anywhere near the kind of infantile cranky-pants and dick-swinging we've come to know and groan about at Republican debates. There were no YO MAMA sick berns or "You're such a New York Jewish gay abortion bagel-eating homosextarian," or "My flat-out stone-cold liar liar pants on fire vagina is gonna kick your ass, Hillary."

If you are still undecided for some strange reason we cannot fathom, and you're not sure whether to buy your Hillz T-shirt or your Bernie T-shirt (the answer is all of them, Katie), call in sick to work (if you don't have the day off already) and sit back and watch three adults have a debate about how to Make America Great Again, but for reals.


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