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Democrats Release New Film 'Pretty Woman II: The David Vitter Story'

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Louisiana Democrats have just released a movie documenting the tragic tale of born-again Republican David Vitter, whose blessed, pure heart was once contaminated with an insatiable lust for hookers. In the new film, Vitter doesn't fall in love with any of his prostitutes -- he just gathers up his clothes and used condoms, and scoots on outta there. It's not a very romantic way to approach extra-marital relationships, if you think about it.

Officially titled Forgotten Crimes: Lawmaker, Lawbreaker, the short film points out that Vitter was never officially punished for his sins despite phone records and polygraph-passing prostitutes pointing to his guilt (under Louisiana's Napoleonic Code, he would have been charged with "bein' a Jean"). But in some ways Vitter has suffered more than he ever deserved, simply by having to live out the rest of his days as "Diaperman."

Fox News experts say the timing of the Dems' video -- right before the November election -- shows that they want Vitter to lose. Quite a nasty campaign move, isn't it? If the Dems understood biblical values, they would concede the election and never again bring up anything that relates to Vitter's "serious sin." They would talk about his virtuous acts, such as returning illegal campaign contributions made by dead women. He also has nice hair. [YouTube/Fox News]

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WHOA THERE, it is a #HotScoop about something happening that portends the wrapping up of the Robert Mueller investigation, one that we can actually believe to a point, because of how CNN seems to have some receipts for its story. (Unlike what we always hear from reporters who shall remain nameless, like Ken Dilanian from NBC News.)

CNN is reporting that "as soon as next week," new attorney general William Barr will be announcing the "completion" of the Mueller probe and that Mueller will be sending some sort of report to Barr.

And just like that, this is you right now: WHOA IF TRUE, IS IT TRUE? IS HE JUST GOING TO LEAVE LIKE THIS? BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN SAID GOODBYE!

And this is Robert Mueller right now: bUt We HaVeN't EvEn SaId GoOdByE!!!!!!!!

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Aimee Maddonna, of Simpsonville, South Carolina, is a nice lady who wanted to take in some foster children and give them a nice home, with her, her husband and their children. Her father had been in the foster care system himself, and her parents had always brought foster children into their home as well, hoping to give those kids a better experience than he had in the system. She had hoped to continue the tradition, and went to Miracle Hill Ministries, the largest and most widely advertised foster care provider in the state, to get started. At first, Miracle Hill told her that she and her family would be a great fit for foster kids and seemed excited to have them on board.

And then they asked her what church she went to.

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