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Democrats Release New Film 'Pretty Woman II: The David Vitter Story'

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Louisiana Democrats have just released a movie documenting the tragic tale of born-again Republican David Vitter, whose blessed, pure heart was once contaminated with an insatiable lust for hookers. In the new film, Vitter doesn't fall in love with any of his prostitutes -- he just gathers up his clothes and used condoms, and scoots on outta there. It's not a very romantic way to approach extra-marital relationships, if you think about it.

Officially titled Forgotten Crimes: Lawmaker, Lawbreaker, the short film points out that Vitter was never officially punished for his sins despite phone records and polygraph-passing prostitutes pointing to his guilt (under Louisiana's Napoleonic Code, he would have been charged with "bein' a Jean"). But in some ways Vitter has suffered more than he ever deserved, simply by having to live out the rest of his days as "Diaperman."

Fox News experts say the timing of the Dems' video -- right before the November election -- shows that they want Vitter to lose. Quite a nasty campaign move, isn't it? If the Dems understood biblical values, they would concede the election and never again bring up anything that relates to Vitter's "serious sin." They would talk about his virtuous acts, such as returning illegal campaign contributions made by dead women. He also has nice hair. [YouTube/Fox News]

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Roger Stone, you got some 'splainin' to do, Mister! Remember all those times Stone swore on his Nixon tattoo that he never had any contact with Russians, wasn't a campaign surrogate, and wasn't tipped off to stolen DNC emails in advance? Like that time he told the Washington Post:

"I've never been to Russia. I didn't talk to anybody who was identifiably Russian during the two-year run-up to this campaign," he said. "I very definitely can't think of anybody who might have been a Russian without my knowledge. It's a canard."

Stone told the House Intelligence Committee the same thing last September, but, LOL FUNNY STORY! Seems that Stone just plum forgot about that time in May, 2016 when Trump communications advisor Michael Caputo asked him to meet with Henry Greenberg, "a man with a Make America Great Again hat and a viscous Russian accent." The Washington Post reports, Greenberg was offering sexxxxy Russian dirts on Hillary Clinton, which Stone and Caputo were only too happy to grab by the pussy. But they just couldn't get there!

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Congressman Beto O'Rourke, who hopes to replace Ted Cruz in the US Senate this fall, is one of several Texas and El Paso leaders participating in a march to the just-opened tent city at the US/Mexico border in Tornillo, Texas, where children have already been imprisoned "placed."

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