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Democrats Want To Deprive Women of Chance To Be Called Baby-Murdering Sluts

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Every now and then, Democrats in Congress decide they are going to try to do something good, which will never actually happen, but it makes us feel all warm and glowy inside. Hooray Blue Team:


Democrats in the House and Senate are looking to stop what they say are deceptive advertising practices by anti-abortion health clinics that imply they offer abortion services, but instead encourage birth and promote adoption.

The legislation is aimed at crisis pregnancy centers (CPCs), which are clinics often set up by a church or other anti-abortion groups. Democrats in Congress and other pro-abortion groups say these clinics are known to indicate they can perform abortions in order to attract pregnant women patients, and then try to convince them to carry their babies to term.

The bill, Stop Deceptive Advertising for Women's Services Act (H.R. 2030), would make it Not Okay to advertise come-to-Jesus centers as health care clinics, because they are not actually health care clinics. What a novel concept!

In fact, most of the time, these "crisis pregnancy centers" don't even have any medical staff -- just a bunch of Jesus freaks with Bibles and fetus porn, Godsplaining how you don't need a doctor, ya whore, just some good ol' fashioned prayin'. That's why a 2006 congressional report concluded that CPCs deny "teenagers and women vital health information, prevents them from making an informed decision, and is not an accepted public health practice." When NARAL Pro-Choice North Carolina did a 10-month undercover investigation of CPCs, it found some pretty blatant ... oh, what's the word? ... lying:

  • Investigators were told medical inaccuracies including, "The AIDS virus is smaller than the holes in condoms," and "30 percent of women attempt suicide after an abortion."
  • In total, 61 out of 66 facilities did not report any medically trained or medically supervised personnel on staff.
  • Even in the rare cases of centers that are overseen by medical professionals, there are no regulations in place to ensure that confidentiality is protected and that women will receive medically accurate information and services that meet an appropriate standard of care with respect to all reproductive health options. [...]
  • 26% (17 of 66 CPCs) incorrectly stated as fact that abortion leads to breast cancer.
  • 48% (32 CPCs) advised women seeking family planning services that none of the common methods of birth control are effective at preventing pregnancy.
  • 24% (16 CPCs) suggested the high possibility of miscarriage as a reason to avoid an abortion.

And then there was this:

[O]ne investigator who posed as a pregnant Jewish woman was given a Bible and told by volunteers at five different CPCs that she would not go to heaven unless she became a Christian.

These "pregnancy centers" are bad news, and unfortunately, many of them receive government funding because "pro-life" legislators who hate real health care for women and want to shut down Planned Parenthood would prefer to give all your monies to these fake centers instead and tell you to go there for all your ladyparts health care because Jesus.

So: hooray for the Democrats for trying to do something about that. The bill won't go anywhere, of course, because Congress does not like to spend time on pet projects like, you know, women, but it's nice to see the Democrats try to do some good anyway.

The Hill

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Oh hi! Michael Cohen is going to jail, because he is guilty! Just like Paul Manafort is guilty and GO THE FUCK TO JAIL! WHERE HE ALREADY WAS! (Read up on that here!) And all this news came out in the same hour, somehow, because we live in the dumbest fucking episode of "Law & Order" Dick Wolf ever threw on the cutting room floor, on account of how it was too stupid for words.

However, Cohen avoided a big nasty trial (or series of trials, like Manafort opted for) by just cold pleading guilty to a buncha fuckin' crimes, like a crimer who does a buncha fuckin' crimes all the time. And he implicated Donald Trump in a couple of them!

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HOLY FUCK this afternoon! Michael Cohen just finished a hearing in a New York courtroom where he said, "DURRRR I AM SO GUILTY," but this post is not about that. This post is about how Paul Manafort verdict has just come out! He has been found guilty on eight of the 18 charges he faced in the Eastern District of Virginia (EDVA). The jury is hopelessly deadlocked on the other 10, and so a mistrial will be declared on those and Paul Manafort may get to be retried on them, in addition to his next trial over conspiracies against the United States and witness tampering, which starts next month in Washington DC. Maybe the government will decide Manafort is going to die in jail anyway, and play hooky from retrying those other counts. They probably need a vacay, don't you think?

Trump really does hire the best people!

NBC News's Ken Dilanian broke the news that Manafort has been convicted on five counts of tax fraud, one count of failing to report a foreign bank account on an IRS form, and two charges of bank fraud. The short version of that is that he is guilty of EIGHT FEDERAL FELONIES (so far) and he is going to jail for EIGHT MILLION YEARS for each count. (OK, that is probably not completely accurate. But still, welcome to prison, Paul Manafort!)

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