Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Basket of Argle, Bargle, and Babble
Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we bring you a bunch of stories that didn't quite merit a post of their own, but that were far too stupid to ignore altogether. Apply alcohol directly to your central processing unit as needed. Or your computer's.
Other lawmakers objected that the KJV wouldn't reflect the state's Catholic heritage, so the bill was amended to make it simply "the Holy Bible." A few committee members angrily muttered something about the separation of church and state before the committee voted 5-8 to move the bill to the House.
Carmody insisted that there was no way that the bill could violate the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment, because "It's not to the exclusion of anyone else's sacred literature." You know, just naming one religion's book, but definitely not banning any of those fake religions.
Yr Wonkette would suggest that maybe the Legislature might do well to adopt All The King's Men instead.
Edwards brings a reporter over to his desk to look at an old-fashioned date book, filled with indecipherable scratchings from the governor’s own hand. “I feel good. I’ve been going almost 18 hours a day for the past 2½ weeks.
“I kept every one of those commitments. Why look here … ” Then a beat. Then a slight pause. Then a wink.
“My goodness gracious, look at this: I even went to a prayer breakfast.”
Pretty sure this is where we get to say "Well bless his heart."
And in Jacksonville, Florida, a Responsible Gun Owner in Ware County, Georgia, was charged with illegally possessing a shotgun that killed his 10-year-old daughter, who was shot when the weapon accidentally discharged while a 15-year-old relative was unloading it so she could safely hold the gun.
Sorry, Peter Cottontail. Your event has been kidnapped. And, of course, apologies to the churches.
Why can't the Godless Obamas at least compromise by including the True Meaning of Jesus-Egg Day? At the very least, Michelle could demonstrate how to exercise while being crucified, to demonstrate the benefits of cross training.
I grew up in a much simpler time -- when blackberry was a pie and dirty dancing meant somebody forgot to clean out the barn for the square dance. It was a time when father still knew best -- when the girls were girls and the men were men. I grew up in a time when a rainbow was a sign of God’s promise, not gay rights.
Gee, our old LaSalle ran great. And talk about up-to-date references! His examples of "scary modernity" are pretty much objects of nostalgia themselves: a nearly defunct smartphone and a movie from 1987. Yeh, we're pretty sure we'll be assigned to review this book-shaped turd when it drops on May 6.
Maybe if DDM, our Game of Thrones recapper, had shown up in the Sekrit Chatcave the last couple of days, we would have some hilarious Lannisterian riffs on it. And with Kid Zoom on a choir tour to Disneyland, we can't even get any help from someone who's read the books.
Doper, homosexualist and now abortionist sum up the life and times of one Willie Nelson. He may be a native Texan but doesn't share Texas values, the most important of which is the right to life.
Interesting that a Yankee transplant, drug-free Patriot Ted Nugent, embodies more of what Texas is all about than one of her native sons.
We'll pray for them.
Donald Trump is a Galifinakis Truther, says Obama was clearly enraged by Funny or Die questions and media won't report it.
So weird that Donald Trump couldn't recognize a self-parody, I don't get how that could happen
We'll keep an eye out for video so we can share the details. Then again, "Donald Trump Clueless" stories are the dog-bites-man of Twitter, aren't they?
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.