Desperate George Allen Accepts Part-Time Work

Do you know how to type, sir?  That could really liven up this resume

Word on the street was that ex-Senator (but eternal Macaca) George Allen was one step away from having to hock his beloved football in order to keep his family solvent. Fortunately, he's now been able to find part-time work at the bafflingly named "Young America's Foundation," which bought Ronald Reagan's ranch and is turning it into a "schoolhouse for Reaganism," which is clearly code for "cult compound."

Allen will be talking to college students and writing letters to the editor about how awesome Ronald Reagan was, and how yes, it's "the Young America's Foundation," with the apostrophe, not "the Young America Foundation," please spell it correctly, thank you. The Young America's Foundation refused to embarrass Allen by revealing his paltry salary, and did not indicate whether he'd be receiving dental benefits. The job will "allow him a platform for staying visible if he chooses to run for office again," wrote a newspaper reporter who is either delusional or very sarcastic.

Allen hired as Reagan scholar [Richmond Times-Dispatch]


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