Detroit! Chicago! Is That Wonkette's Sausage In Your Throat Or You Just Happy To See Us?
AYO, CHICAGO AND DETROIT, tell Alexa to cancel all your meetings and make you a "calendar" with only Wonkette on it. Because we are coming to YOU, Chicago, on Wed., June 7, and YOU, Detroit, on Fri., June 9. Whatever shall we do? Wherever shall we go?
We shall do PIC-A-NICS and we shall go TO THE BEACH!
Chicago! We will be at Margaret Burroughs Beach Park, 3100 S. Lake Shore Dr., Chicago 60616. Wed., June 7, at SIX PM. (We are often a little early, if you are too!)
What you should bring: a blanket or camping chair; a snack to share; maybe your favorite sausages; something vegetarian if you are vegetarian. Beer is "not" allowed at this beach! Make of that what you will. Do not bring Chicago style pizza, as it is an abomination and you will be EJECTED like a common reporter at Gianforte HQ.
Detroit! We will see you at Belle Isle Park, Fri., June 9, SIX PM, in the open land across the road from the Giant Slide, because the nice lady on the phone says that is a good place to meet. Look, I downloaded you a map!
If you are driving, you gotta pay $10; if you are taking the bus like a hippie, it is FREE! What to bring? The same thing as the Chicago people are bringing, except in place of "sausage" maybe bring us SHAWARMA! Or rose-water sweets! In fact, really, just bring every possible Middle Eastern dish, and be our best friend FOR EVER. Also, bring a sweater. You know how you get chilly.
Are you on the way from Montana to Chicago, like perhaps in Minot, North Dakota, or Fargo, or "Minnesota"? Email us at rebecca at wonkette dot com, for hugs and friendship!
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.