Devin Nunes Full Of Shit About 'Unmasking,' According To Literally Everyone


Devin Nunes, the chair of the House Intelligence Committee who doesn't even have to pretend he's investigating the Trump Russia scandal anymore, now that he's recused himself while he's under investigation just for maybe leaking a little bit of classified information in a flaccid attempt to cover for his real dad Donald Trump, is a fucking moron. We all know this. We also all suspected that whatever "secret" "awesome" "information" he scampered to the White House to look at, so he could immediately brief the White House (and the press! but not his own intel committee!) on all the awesome stuff the White House had just shown him, was bullshit. Of course, Nunes was under the impression that it was some SMOKING GUN! that said former Obama NSA Susan Rice did all kinds of improper "unmasking" of innocent, put-upon Trump regime officials, but he's a very stupid idiot, bless his heart. Anyway, we now have bipartisan confirmation that Nunes's bullshit was bullshit.

Members of the House Intelligence Committee and the Senate Intelligence Committee (AKA "the grown-ass adult one"), Democratic and Republican alike, have all gone to the NSA headquarters at Fort Meade, Maryland, to wade through the very exciting poo Devin Nunes found in his Underoos, and they have all determined Nunes is full of shit, Susan Rice did nothing wrong, and Donald Trump is just talking out his ass again. What very surprising news!

After a review of the same intelligence reports brought to light by House Intelligence Chairman Devin Nunes, both Republican and Democratic lawmakers and aides have so far found no evidence that Obama administration officials did anything unusual or illegal, multiple sources in both parties tell CNN.

Their private assessment contradicts President Donald Trump's allegations that former Obama national security adviser Susan Rice broke the law by requesting the "unmasking" of US individuals' identities. Trump had claimed the matter was a "massive story."

Huh, it's like national security advisers are allowed to do their jobs or something, even if they are appointed by black presidents and they are named Susan Rice and they make wingnuts REAL MAD, because BENGHAZI!!!!11!! (We extensively covered why Rice didn't do a damn thing wrong right here, by the way.)

Fake News CNN reports that, according to its sources, Rice's "unmasking" actions were "normal and appropriate," which makes sense, as Rice was the national security adviser, and thus might have had a reason from time to time to ask specifically which U.S. American persons were having their names picked up in foreign intelligence-gathering talkin' to Russian spies. And, to remind everyone how "unmasking" requests work, if Rice acquired that information, that means the NSA agreed with her, that the U.S. persons' names were relevant!

CNN also reminds us of how committed Donald Trump was to the idea of Young Devin's little "unmasking" thing being THE REAL STORY. It was sad and pathetic:

"I think it's going to be the biggest story," Trump said. "It's such an important story for our country and the world." He also called it "truly one of the big stories of our time."

Asked by the Times if he believed Rice's actions were criminal Trump responded, "Do I think? Yes, I think."

You thought wrong, President Fuckhead.

Anyway, we don't have much to add to a story about how Devin Nunes is full of shit, so this post is finished, just like Devin Nunes's credibility.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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