Our favorite alleged cow romancer congressman, Devin Nunes, has been kinda quiet recently. He hasn't made that much noise in the House Freedom Caucus's dog-and-pony shitshow of failed attempts to impeach Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, leaving those duties to Mark Meadows and also Jim Jordan -- who has really been doing his level best to wrestle Rosenstein to the ground in his red singlet, while the team doctor molests so many guys in the next room, allegedly. And why? Because Meadows and Jordan think they should be allowed to see all the DOJ/FBI documents on the Trump-Russia investigation, which is CURRENTLY ONGOING. That way they can tell the White House what the feds have on Trump and give Trump an excuse to fire Rosenstein and shutter the Robert Mueller investigation.

Jordan swears up and down he and Meadows are still totally going to impeach Rosenstein, despite how Paul Ryan, in a rare show of spines-manship last week, said out loud that they should fuck off with their impeachment resolution, and despite how they don't remotely have the votes. Oh well.

But anyway, speaking of documents and speaking of Devin Nunes, the point of this post is that on Sunday, Nunes tied his therapy cow to a post and gave her a magazine to read while he sat for a Fox News interview, and he is just HET THE FUCK UP about the redacted sections of the Carter Page warrants that he has not read. In fact, he told Fox's Maria Bartiromo that you are all gonna literally DIE when you read the stuff the media doesn't want you to see, that he has not read. Never mind how it was the media that filed the FOIA requests that led to the release of the Page FISA transcripts, and never mind how DEVIN NUNES HASN'T FUCKIN' READ IT AND NEITHER HAS HIS MOO COW.

We are quite confident that once the American people see these 20 pages, at least for those that will get real reporting on this issue, they will be shocked by what's in that FISA application.

We guess he is saying Trey Gowdy told him America will be real shocked by those 20 pages of redactions, but only the part of America dumb enough to watch Fox News and believe its lies. Americans who watch the Fake News -- or even worse, read the documents for themselves -- won't be shocked. in fact, they might yet again find themselves in the position of seeing that Devin Nunes is full of shit again, just like he always is when he's out there on the TV over-hyping something. (Remember THE MEMO?)

Unfortunately, according to Devin Nunes, all the liberals and all the media are trying to hide the obviously shocking information he has not himself read, and that is why the Department of Justice redacted all that stuff. (In Nunes's mind, the liberals and the medias and the DOJ/FBI are all the same people, AKA the DEEP STATE!) They don't want America to know the truth, and they won't even give Nunes's therapy cow a security clearance, allegedly.

Devin Nunes concluded to Maria Bartiromo that Republicans better win the midterm elections, because if Democrats take the House then Rod Rosenstein won't even get held in contempt of Congress and all the fake investigations Devin Nunes does to protect an obviously criminal trash president will get shut down and the FBI won't be held accountable for colluding with Hillary Clinton to steal the election from herself and give it to Russia. We agree with Devin Nunes on that one: EVERYBODY GET OUT THERE AND VOTE SO HARD IN NOVEMBER, PLEASE!

In fact, if America votes hard enough, especially out in California, we might just rid ourselves of a certain weapons-grade stupid treason weasel named Devin Nunes! Donate to his opponent Andrew Janz right here.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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