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Looks like Diamond and Silk chugged an entire Sparkletts jug of haterade with their hamberders during the second night of the Democratic primary debates. How do I know? Because they are openly hating on Kamala Harris like they know her, they hate her, and she took their last bottle of hair glue. The lace-fronted illogical ladies of Black Conservatism are the absolute last people we want to see after the soul cleansing experience of loving the glorious lovetacular love of Marianne Williamson, Queen of the Moon People, but we promised to drag these two as much as possible until they either go to jail, or go away.

So, why am I inflicting upon you the glorious pain of even thinking about these gentle women? Well, for one, Trump Jr. was seen skulking about Twitter, creeping up near our Kamala like a greedy hyena, then hiding before we got a chance to see him and mock his neckbeard in person. For another, what exactly do these loquacious ladies even want? I tried to look for demands on their YouTube ransom video, but it turned out to just be a podcast of them alternating between giving voter registration tips, general advice on how to pay them monies, and hoo bangin' on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Kamala Harris. Oh. And hating on immigrants while lamenting the homeless, because they are serious political lobbyists who have "real" legislation named after them, thanks to their white friend, Steve King, who is also the bad guy from the movie Wreck it Ralph.


Apparently they also want to complain for attention; Fox News is eager to have some black women not known for normalizing Adolf fucking Hitler on the air to castigate Kamala Harris for being extremely competent, confident, and qualified.

Obviously, it would be very sexist to call them shrill; women are not usually super strident like John Hickenlooper or one of the Tim Ryans, that much is known. But hearing them chunter on like a gaggle of gumps made my asshole clench up like I was stuck in the audience at the "Andrew Dice Clay and Roseanne Comedy Funeral" watching jokes die painful deaths. So I will call them "annoying" as fuck.

This is the part that the triggered froot loops obviously acted out over their bowls of Frosted Flakes that morning.

From Grabien:

DIAMOND: If you look at [Joe Biden's] past, his history and his record, especially when he gave a Senate floor speech back in 1993 about the crime bill, it echoed the sentiments of bigotry and racism. But what I don't understand is who is advising Joe Biden? Why didn't he hit Kamala Harris back on her record when it comes to race, how she's had droves of black men locked up as a prosecutor. She didn't defend them. Why didn't he hit her back? Because she doesn't have a pretty past. Hers is just as ugly.

Or this:

DIAMOND: Because Kamala Harris was a prosecutor that had black men locked up for the same thing she was doing, smoking weed. She does not have a good record.

SILK: That's right.

1. At the height of the drug war, Harris, as San Francisco District Attorney implemented education over incarceration for drug offenders, including dealers, so kindly shut the fuck up. Now, there are moves she made that she regrets, like the fact that her truancy program was used as a model for the state (with her full backing) but implemented in a way that, unlike the program in San Francisco where she did NOT lock any parents up, DID cause at least one parent to go to jail.

One thing about the truancy program that is rarely mentioned is that these were elementary school kids only, and it wasn't just a day of playing hooky like Ferris Bueller. "As San Francisco district attorney from 2004 to 2011, Harris issued citations to parents whose children missed more than 50 days of school, but none of them were put in jail." These are unexcused absences. When you have only 180 days in a school year, and a whopping 75% of young black boys in the state of California that are not able to read on grade level, there are no easy or quick solutions, and the achievement gap grows every day they are not in class.

2. My God. Stupidlandia just isn't sending us her best these days, eh, Diamond? Prosecutors usually don't act as defense counsel, fyi, and many cases have victims (most homicides are intraracial; unless you're talking about officer-involved shootings, it's usually black offenders killing black people, white offenders killing white people, etc.) who need someone advocating for them. See the dilemma? Who do you fight for?

3. Why didn't Joe hit her back? Are you really that stupid? Remember that Crime Bill? He WROTE IT. Kinda hard to cast stones with glass arms, or something. Joe found himself in a situation where he was unable to admit fault on busing, unlike Mayor Pete, who (says he) accepts fault for the racial divisions in his town, or Harris who admits to maybe not always being a "Progressive."

Don't Republicans read history in the strangest way you ever did see? They read up to the end of reconstruction, skip near a century, read portions from the '50s and '60s, and then history disappears ... except the parts about "Commies, Negroes, and Jews" ruining America. They never forget to update it too, it's just that "Commies, Negroes, Jews, Messicans, Ay-rabs, Wemmin, Gayze, Methodists, Catholics, Nerds, Atheists, Knitters, Adam Scott, Beyonce (unless she converts to Conservative baby Jesus), Librulz, Students, Science, and Obamacare Ruined America!" doesn't fit on t-shirts.

DIAMOND: Okay? So I'm looking at them. Joe Biden should have hit her back. Her record is not clean either.

SILK:
And then how is Kamala supporting the same party that segregated her and her family? She's in support of the same party. It's not just Joe Biden. It's the party, the Democrats are the party of segregation and she supports it.

"dEmOCrAts aRe thE pArtY oF SegRegATioN aNd ShE sUppOrTs iT."

See how I bolded some of the parts I think are extra stupid? Diamond and Silk don't really give a shit about mass incarceration, please do not get it twisted. I watched their whole entire full dumbass podcast (OVER AN HOUR, GIVE US MONEYS) just to see what the fuck Cocoa and Mocha were REALLY up to. I'll tell you what I know: Their parents are televangelists, this shit is STILL a grift, these clowns are sad, and this circus has run out of bread.

Kamala 2020

[Grabien]

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Follow Wonderbitch aka Bravenak aka Bianca DeLaRosa, loves her jobs as Social Media Manager for Wonkette more than Sarah Huckabee Sanders loves lying to America. Bianca also moonlights as a Witch (THE BAD KIND!!) and is a Freelance Goddess of All Things Ever. Be very nice her because she likes to curse people, especially mean people. You can find Bianca on Twitter @Wonderbitch81, or email her at bianca@wonkette.com

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