Dinesh D'Souza Declares Reagan D'Risen
Remember how we told you about convicted felon Dinesh D'Souza's jail-Skyping this week with Some Idiot from Newsmax? Yes, of course you do, we just told you about it, like, an hour ago.
Well, guess what. We did not tell you everything because we are teases like that, or maybe we forgot to mention it, or maybe we just want you to think that we forgot because we are brilliant at performance art, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.
See, D'Souza also had some thoughts about Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, most of which we will spare you because seriously, who even gives an ounce of manure? But there was this nugget:
Netanyahu to me is the closest resurrection that we’ve seen to Reagan.
OK, sure, why not? Other than how the Reagan administration secretly sold weapons to Iran -- yes, that happened, kids -- which we're pretty sure Netanyahu would not do. Because of how he hates Iran, and not just in a "the enemy of my enemy is great for a photo-op while I can do some shady stuff on the down low to fund my OTHER secret war" kind of way.
Also, we know for a fact -- because of how we are of the The Jews persuasion -- that The Jews (oh yeah, sorry, Netanyahu is actually Jewish, you didn't know that?) don't do resurrection. But you can double-check the Constitution on that if you want.
Anyway, other than that minor detail, that's bad news for all those 2016 Republicans pretenders to the Oval Office who are always trying to claim to be the resurrection of Ronald Jesus Reagan of Nazareth, CA. The position's already been filled, it would seem.
[Image via SuperHappyFunTimeHour]