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Sure we're barreling toward a catastrophic Constitutional crisis -- but these two bastards are going to sell a lot of books! Knowing that Donald Trump parks his ass on the sofa for 12 hours a day to mainline Fox News and livetweet his nervous breakdown, Lou Dobbs and Gregg Jarrett brought the good shit last night! Poppy needs his fix, so Lou and Gregg are turning that studio into a shooting gallery. Wooohooo, time to burn the whole Justice Department DOWN!



"charge of the Supreme Court Marshal, who gonna lock ALL THE FUCKERS UP," are we right? LOLOL we kid, but the president is having a psychotic break, and we are all going to die.

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK, GREGG? YOU WENT TO LAW SCHOOL!

Let's see if we've understood this clearly ... The president is instructing John Roberts, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, to go kick some ass at the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISC). In his diseased mind, Chief Justice Roberts has the authority to order Judge Collyer -- it's COLLYER, goddammit -- to "haul all of these people from the DOJ & FBI in there" for a hearing. After she finds out about the ten million crimes committed by law enforcement officers, all of which were somehow concealed from Jeff Sessions, Rod Rosenstein and Christopher Wray, she'll tell the that marble-mouth Jeff Sessions what to charge everyone with, and then it will be LOCK HER UP forever for the entire Deep State.

It's that little known Constitutional clause that says "Separation of Powers is cool, but sometimes the Executive needs to tell the Judiciary to seize prosecutorial authority and order the Executive Branch to lock up the Executive's political enemies, knamean?" Thus spake the Founding Fathers. In Jesus's name, Amen.

Not convinced? Here, let two botoxed hacks flap their collagen-bloated lips at you.

And if you think that shit's crazy, try making sense of this "op-ed" written by Jarrett to flog his nonsense book on the "Russia Hoax." If your Dad talked like that, you'd take him to a neurologist. Which would be such a waste, since there's bigly money to be made dealing this shit to retirees who've got a serious teevee habit and need that hit of pure, uncut rage morning, noon, and night.

Higher, baby
Get higher, baby!
Get higher, baby!
And don't ever come down! FREEBASE!

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Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Remember a few weeks ago when House Judiciary Committee Chair Jerry Nadler sent a very nice and loving request to 81 people and entities associated with Donald Trump, including the White House, asking to please FUCKING GIVE IT a million documents, in order to aid Judiciary's investigation into Trump's millions of crimes? Well, the deadline was Monday, and some folks are helping! Others are not!

According to Nadler, they've already gotten "tens of thousands" of documents, and all signs point to more document requests coming, to approximately one million more people. There have been some surprises, too. Steve Bannon is helping a LOT, turning over thousands of pages (which is perhaps too much if you've ever seen that episode of "The West Wing," where CJ Cregg talks about being so crazy over-compliant with Congress that they just snow down investigators with everything, including take-out menus and junk mail). Trump Inauguration weirdo/longtime associate Tom Barrack is helping, and Hope Hicks is also too gonna be a good little helper. And so on!

And some are asking for "friendly subpoenas," like for instance attorney Keith Davidson, who used to rep Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, who's asking for that in order to "formalize the process," as Politico puts it. (Some people don't like being asked nicely.)

Still others are saying straight up NO, and some of them have better reasons than others. Roger Stone is pleading the Fifth on advice of counsel because, you know, he's in trouble with the law right now. Rick Gates says he can't really help, citing how he is still a cooperating witness who is very business hunting wabbits in multiple ongoing investigations. And Julian Assange said no, because (LOL) he is a journalist, you guys, and Congress shouldn't subpoena journalists about their sources. (Actually WikiLeaks is a cut-out for Russian intelligence. Which is kind of like "journalist," except not remotely.)

But the real story here is that the White House, in response to pretty much every document request it's gotten, is saying "FUCK OFF! WE ARE GOING TO DO THE WATERGATE THING! IT WORKED OUT VERY WELL, IN WATERGATE! FUCK IT, LET'S DO THE WATERGATE THING!"

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