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Sure we're barreling toward a catastrophic Constitutional crisis -- but these two bastards are going to sell a lot of books! Knowing that Donald Trump parks his ass on the sofa for 12 hours a day to mainline Fox News and livetweet his nervous breakdown, Lou Dobbs and Gregg Jarrett brought the good shit last night! Poppy needs his fix, so Lou and Gregg are turning that studio into a shooting gallery. Wooohooo, time to burn the whole Justice Department DOWN!



"charge of the Supreme Court Marshal, who gonna lock ALL THE FUCKERS UP," are we right? LOLOL we kid, but the president is having a psychotic break, and we are all going to die.

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK, GREGG? YOU WENT TO LAW SCHOOL!

Let's see if we've understood this clearly ... The president is instructing John Roberts, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, to go kick some ass at the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISC). In his diseased mind, Chief Justice Roberts has the authority to order Judge Collyer -- it's COLLYER, goddammit -- to "haul all of these people from the DOJ & FBI in there" for a hearing. After she finds out about the ten million crimes committed by law enforcement officers, all of which were somehow concealed from Jeff Sessions, Rod Rosenstein and Christopher Wray, she'll tell the that marble-mouth Jeff Sessions what to charge everyone with, and then it will be LOCK HER UP forever for the entire Deep State.

It's that little known Constitutional clause that says "Separation of Powers is cool, but sometimes the Executive needs to tell the Judiciary to seize prosecutorial authority and order the Executive Branch to lock up the Executive's political enemies, knamean?" Thus spake the Founding Fathers. In Jesus's name, Amen.

Not convinced? Here, let two botoxed hacks flap their collagen-bloated lips at you.

And if you think that shit's crazy, try making sense of this "op-ed" written by Jarrett to flog his nonsense book on the "Russia Hoax." If your Dad talked like that, you'd take him to a neurologist. Which would be such a waste, since there's bigly money to be made dealing this shit to retirees who've got a serious teevee habit and need that hit of pure, uncut rage morning, noon, and night.

Higher, baby
Get higher, baby!
Get higher, baby!
And don't ever come down! FREEBASE!

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Couple few weeks ago, your Wonkette (me) ended up in the ER with chest pains because some dick 40-millionaire decided to sue us. It was a very stupid day!

But God loves your Wonkette best, because of our excellence in mommyblogging and jabbing bad people in the eye with this here pointy stick. And so the ACLU of West Virginia has agreed to represent us pro boner-like, for love and America and so can you.

Perhaps you are like us, and two years ago rushed to send the ACLU some canned clams to help it in its fight against every extremely crazy thing Steve Bannon was doing. And then you reupped a year later. And then the second year, well ... maybe that just hit at a time you were a little tight, or had to fix the water heater, or didn't feel like getting out your checkbook and a stamp.

If you are so moved, please join Wonkette in reupping with the national org today (and if you are able, to make it a monthly), as well as giving a one-time gift to the West Virginia chapter, since they don't seem to have a recurring option on their site.

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Photo by Wonkette Operative 'Captain Dirt'

Welcome to another edition of Yr Sunday Nice Things feature, where we take a break from the daily craziness so we can decompress for a little while. Today, we're going to relax with the ineffable mental calm that comes from an oddly rectangular English cow. It's really beautiful to see what can happen when people all over the internet come together to collaborate on a little art project. We call it...

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