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Sure we're barreling toward a catastrophic Constitutional crisis -- but these two bastards are going to sell a lot of books! Knowing that Donald Trump parks his ass on the sofa for 12 hours a day to mainline Fox News and livetweet his nervous breakdown, Lou Dobbs and Gregg Jarrett brought the good shit last night! Poppy needs his fix, so Lou and Gregg are turning that studio into a shooting gallery. Wooohooo, time to burn the whole Justice Department DOWN!



"charge of the Supreme Court Marshal, who gonna lock ALL THE FUCKERS UP," are we right? LOLOL we kid, but the president is having a psychotic break, and we are all going to die.

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK, GREGG? YOU WENT TO LAW SCHOOL!

Let's see if we've understood this clearly ... The president is instructing John Roberts, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, to go kick some ass at the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISC). In his diseased mind, Chief Justice Roberts has the authority to order Judge Collyer -- it's COLLYER, goddammit -- to "haul all of these people from the DOJ & FBI in there" for a hearing. After she finds out about the ten million crimes committed by law enforcement officers, all of which were somehow concealed from Jeff Sessions, Rod Rosenstein and Christopher Wray, she'll tell the that marble-mouth Jeff Sessions what to charge everyone with, and then it will be LOCK HER UP forever for the entire Deep State.

It's that little known Constitutional clause that says "Separation of Powers is cool, but sometimes the Executive needs to tell the Judiciary to seize prosecutorial authority and order the Executive Branch to lock up the Executive's political enemies, knamean?" Thus spake the Founding Fathers. In Jesus's name, Amen.

Not convinced? Here, let two botoxed hacks flap their collagen-bloated lips at you.

And if you think that shit's crazy, try making sense of this "op-ed" written by Jarrett to flog his nonsense book on the "Russia Hoax." If your Dad talked like that, you'd take him to a neurologist. Which would be such a waste, since there's bigly money to be made dealing this shit to retirees who've got a serious teevee habit and need that hit of pure, uncut rage morning, noon, and night.

Higher, baby
Get higher, baby!
Get higher, baby!
And don't ever come down! FREEBASE!

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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