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Alan Dershowitz Peddling Anti-Semitic Conspiracy Theories To Breitbart, What Fun We Have In Hell!

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Has Alan Dershowitz been mainlining that trucker speed Alex Jones flogs over at Infowars? What the hell happened to that guy? Take a listen to this shit.

DERSHOWITZ: I have some information as well about the Obama administration – which will be disclosed in a lawsuit at some point, but I'm not prepared to disclose it now – about how President Obama personally asked the FBI to investigate somebody on behalf of George Soros, who was a close ally of his.

We've seen this kind of White House influence on the Justice Department virtually in every Justice Department. The difference this president is much more overt about it, he tweets about it. President Obama whispered to the Justice Department about it.

Love to see prominent American Jews promoting anti-semitic conspiracy theories about other Jews controlling the government over at Dead Breitbart's Home for Basement Dwelling Booger Eaters! It's such an out-of-body experience, particularly since he pronounces "Soros" like "tsuris," which is the Yiddish word for "troubles."


Then Dersh made some more words about King Donald having the absolute power to run the Justice Department as his own personal revenge machine, before being steered back by the Breitbart interviewer to his bizarre accusation.

BREITBART: You said that George Soros asked Barack Obama to have his Justice Department investigate somebody?

DERSHOWITZ: That's going to come out in a lawsuit in the near future, yeah. That is not unusual. People whisper to presidents all the time. People whisper to Justice Department all the time. It's very common, it's wrong whoever does it, but it's common and we shouldn't think that it's unique to any particular president. I have in my possession the actual 302 form which documents this issue and it will at the right time come out, but I'm not free to disclose it now because it's a case that's not yet been filed.

Deep Jewish mother sigh, punctuated by massive semitic hairball throat noises.

Okay, fine. For the sake of argument, let's pretend that this is all TRUE. Sure, why not?

First of all, if, as the noted former Harvard professor insists, it's totally fine and normal for the president to direct the DOJ to prosecute his enemies, then why is Dersh threatening to sue over it?

Second of all, if there's no criminal trial, then how does Dersh even have a copy of the 302, which is an internal FBI document memorializing a witness interview?

Third of all, in what universe does an FBI agent write in an official record, "President Barack Obama ordered me to interview subject at the behest of noted supervillian Holocaust survivor George Soros"?

Fourth of all, isn't this more likely to be a 302 from Roger Stone or Michael Flynn accusing the FBI agents of being controlled by George Soros and being told, "I can't comment on that, sir?"

Fifth of all, does Dersh think we forgot that he dared his accusers to sue him, and then promptly went to war to get the case dismissed and seal all the old records?

And sixth of all, for the love of God, STAAAAAAHP IT, YOU LUNATIC! Put your panties back on and go see a neurologist, STAT. You're selling your legacy for one more day in the sun to watch a bunch of incel wingnuts blow their collective wads because they think you've got the goods on the black president? Really? This shit's not even funny any more.

Just kidding. IT'S STILL HILARIOUS.

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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