There has been a lot of focus the past week or so on bizarre conspiracy theories surrounding Hillary Clinton's health. Why, just today the Fox & Friends gang was noting that she wears glasses sometimes -- and glasses, as we all know, are a classic sign of brain damage!


And, on our side, there has been a good deal of mocking of Donald Trump's hilarious medical letter and how definitely fake it seems. What with the doctor using a gmail address, the website not working, the fact that one of the doctors on the unprofessional looking letterhead having been dead for six years now, the fact that the gastroenterologist writing the letter (which in itself is weird because usually an internist does these things) does not appear to work at the hospital he says he works at, and, of course, the hilarious assertion that Trump would be “the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency,” and all.

However, the sheer ridiculousness of the letter may not be the funniest thing in it. You see, for all the swooning on the right over Trump's supposedly high levels of testicular fortitude, the one bit of medical information included in the letter may indicate that his testosterone levels are actually pretty darn low!

According to Dr. Jen Gunter, whom I love madly for her glorious debunkings of Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina steaming habits, the low PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) levels cited by his, um, gastroenterologist, are an indication of low testosterone.

There is a definite link between testosterone and PSA. A study looking at the relationship between the two found taking age, race and ethnicity, and a variety of other factors into consideration “those with a higher serum testosterone had a higher serum total PSA.” PSA levels of

What can lower testosterone? Aging, alcohol, and opioids are probably the most common causes. Trump’s doctor claims Trump doesn’t drink. He’s on a statin according to the letter, but his doctor doesn’t explicitly say that Trump doesn’t take any other medications.

Opioids, you say? Man, I guess it is a good thing that we are not like Trump supporters and would not immediately come to the conclusion here that Trump is a junkie!

At 0.15 ng/ml Trump’s PSA is “very low,” especially considering his age as levels typically rise, so that part of his doctor’s letter is accurate. This very low PSA level could be from taking dutasteride or finasteride for baldness or an enlarged prostate (totally fine if he is, but all medications should be in his doctor’s letter) or he could simply have a naturally lower testosterone level. As long as that isn’t from opioids then a lower testosterone level in a man whose “physical strength and stamina are extraordinary” would mean very little and be about as relevant as the size of his hands.

She's right. This is totally irrelevant! Personally, I could not possibly care less what Donald Trump's testosterone levels are. Or anyone's, for that matter! Unless it's a thing that is affecting their health, in which case I would be like "Oh, that sucks, I'm sorry! I hope that it gets better!" but otherwise would not feel it was my business. It is just hilarious in this instance due to the amount of swoooooooooning over Donald Trump's gloriously high testosterone levels, and the suggestions that men who don't agree with him are just jealous of said high testosterone levels. And that women will totally vote for him because secretly they are sexually excited by his high testosterone levels. You know, because they think that makes him "manlier" or something, which, hey, is not even a thing that is true, because I'm pretty darn sure that hormone levels have nothing to do with one's adherence to traditional gender roles!

I guess they will have to find a new thing?

[Dr. Jen Gunter]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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