While the monster who used to run the country has retired to be the Florida Man he always was inside, and most of his closest allies have started to slink back into the various sewers they crawled out from, the rest of us have been waiting to see if any of them will held accountable for the damage they've done.

For the last several years, Rudy Giuliani has been one of Donald Trump's loudest and most reliable blowhards. Whether it's because the two have dirt on each other or each simply realized he had found a kindred spirit of hate and lies, Rudy remains to this day a loyal Trump defender.

After Joe Biden decisively won the November election, Trump and co-conspirators like Giuliani just went full tinfoil hat and rolled with whatever batshit insane conspiracy theories they could come up with. Several of those conspiracy theories were about Dominion Voting Systems, which provides hardware and software for elections. None of it makes any sense whatsoever, but it all has something to do with Dead Hugo Chavez conspiring, we assume, with Antifa, to make sure Joe Biden defeated Donald Trump, nearly a decade after Chavez's death.

Unfortunately for Dominion, large percentages of both the American people and people who hold public office in this country are cult members who believe anything their Dear Leader blathers. This has put Dominion's government contracts and the future of the company at risk.

After months of slander, Dominion is fighting back. Earlier this month, Dominion released the $1.3 billion kraken on Sidney Powell. And now it has shot back with another $1.3 billion suit — this time, against "America's mayor," himself. (Full suit at bottom of this post, and also right here.)

Defamation lawsuits are a tricky beast and I'm normally not a big fan. The government punishing people for speech can get scary pretty fast. And all too often, the powerful mega-rich file defamation and libel lawsuits not because anything remotely actionable has occurred, but as a bad faith way of using our legal system to stifle criticism.

But suits like US Dominion v. Giuliani and US Dominion v. Powell are a reminder that some defamation suits do have merit and serve the purpose of trying to rehabilitate a reputation that has been unfairly dragged through the mud.

Dominion accuses Giuliani of defamation per se. Defamation per se is a specific type of defamation for specific types of false statements that are considered so bad they're automatically considered harmful. It lessens the burdens on plaintiffs, who are presumed to have been harmed and don't need to show evidence of monetary damages.

Unfortunately for Rudy Giuliani, one type of libel per se is when you make false accusations of a crime "of moral turpitude." According to Dominion,

Giuliani has directly accused Dominion of fraud, election fixing, conspiracy, and bribery, which are serious crimes. For Dominion — whose business is producing and providing voting systems for elections — there are no accusations that could do more to damage Dominion's business or to impugn Dominion's integrity, ethics, honesty, and financial integrity. Giuliani's statements were calculated to — and did in fact — provoke outrage and cause Dominion enormous harm.

As in the suit against Powell, Dominion asks for $651,735,000 in compensatory damages and another $651,735,000 in punitive damages.

As for the suit's purpose?

Dominion brings this action to set the record straight, to vindicate the company's rights under civil law, to recover compensatory and punitive damages, and to stand up for itself, its employees, and the electoral process.

I doubt Dominion's lawyers imagined prior to last year that they would ever have to write the sentence "Dominion was not founded in Venezuela to fix elections for Hugo Chávez[,]" but here we are.

Let's get to the good stuff!

If you're here for the dunks and the lulz, look no further. This complaint takes great pains --107 pages worth of pains, in fact -- to detail Giuliani's fuckery and remind us that, every once in a while, lawyers can be funny.

It starts off strong. Here's the first paragraph:

During a court hearing contesting the results of the 2020 election in Pennsylvania, Rudy Giuliani admitted that the Trump Campaign "doesn't plead fraud" and that "this is not a fraud case." Although he was unwilling to make false election fraud claims about Dominion and its voting machines in a court of law because he knew those allegations are false, he and his allies manufactured and disseminated the "Big Lie," which foreseeably went viral and deceived millions of people into believing that Dominion had stolen their votes and fixed the election. Giuliani reportedly demanded $20,000 per day for that Big Lie. But he also cashed in hosting a podcast where he exploited election falsehoods to market gold coins, supplements, cigars, and protection from "cyberthieves." Even after the United States Capitol had been stormed by rioters who had been deceived by Giuliani and his allies, Giuliani shirked responsibility for the consequences of his words and repeated the Big Lie again. This defamation action follows.

IDK about y'all, but I am HERE for Dominion's big "fuck with us and find out" energy.

The complaint also hints that the billion-dollar suits against Trump's legal geniuses may be just the beginning, noting that the "defamatory falsehoods peddled by Giuliani" were made

in concert with Sidney Powell, Russell Ramsland, L. Lin Wood, Mike Lindell, Patrick Byrne, Lou Dobbs, Fox News, Fox Business, Newsmax, One America News Network ("OAN"), The Epoch Times, and other like-minded allies and media outlets determined to promote a false preconceived narrative about the 2020 election[.]
I think my favorite parts of the complaint are when Dominion uses handy illustrations to remind everyone that not only is Giuliani a crackpot and a liar, he's also in it for the grift.

Sometimes Giuliani is trying to sell stuff to old people who are afraid of computers:


Giuliani warned his viewers about "cyberthieves" stealing home titles "online," and threw his arms in the air as if to emphasize the obvious danger of entrusting important matters to technology. Giuliani then pitched his viewers on a service they could buy to protect themselves for just $596 for the 4-year service if they used the promo code "Rudy" when ordering.

Sometimes he's pushing cigars and subscriptions to weird conservative organizations:


After decrying how an American election had been fixed by a Venezuelan-owned company, Giuliani marketed cigars from an "American-owned" company, offering "$20 off orders over $100" if his viewers used the code "Rudy20" when ordering.


In addition to re-running his direct-to-camera advertisements for an "American-owned" cigar company, Giuliani also warned that a "socialist storm is bewing," and pitched his audience on buying paid memberships -- costing up to $500 for a lifetime membership -- in the "conservative alternative to the AARP.

Sometimes he's hawking gold:

... and sometimes he's peddling supplements, like a common Alex Jones.


Giuliani also touted his defamatory falsehoods about Dominion while marketing gold and silver coins to his viewers, saying "I accomplished a lot in 2020, exposing the truth," and warning that "these are uncertain times" and that "[t]he one thing you can count on to protect what you have worked so hard for is physical gold and silver. He recommended that his viewers buy gold from "the company you can trust" and told them to "give them a call and tell them Rudy sent you." And, Giuliani advised, "if you call them right now, they'll give you up to $1500 of free silver on your first order."

Next up: meds for erectile dysfunction!

The complaint also reminds us that Giuliani "intentionally misrepresented that his accusations were supported by 'forensic examination' conducted by 'forensic experts' with 'a very reputable company.'" That so-called expert was Russell Ramsland. Let's learn more about Mr. Ramsland, shall we?
Before Giuliani touted Ramsland's expertise, Ramsland had publicly claimed, among other things, that George Soros helped form the "Deep State" in Nazi Germany in the 1930s—along with President George H.W. Bush's father, the Muslim Brotherhood, and "leftists."

Dominion takes care to remind the reader that "Mr. Soros was born in 1930."

The complaint details how Giuliani also [allegedly] used his lies about Dominion specifically to help incite the insurrection, both before and on January 6.
The evening before the certification and the "Save America" rally protesting it, Giuliani tweeted out a video, writing "WATCH This Before January 6th!" The tweet garnered over 16,000 likes and 6,000 retweets. The video embedded in it was Giuliani's January 5, 2020 Common Sense podcast, in which he falsely claimed that "the Dominion machines ... switched 6,000 votes ... in just one small area."

And at the rally just prior to the storming of the Capitol, Giuliani told the crowd:

"[W]e get to see the machines that are crooked, the ballots that are fraudulent. [...] So, let's have trial by combat. [...] [O]ne of the experts who's examined these crooked Dominion machines, has absolutely found what he believes is conclusive proof that in the last 10%, 15% of the vote counted, the votes were deliberately changed by the same algorithm that was used in cheating President Trump and Vice President Pence, same algorithm, same system, same thing was done with the same machines. ... This election was stolen."
Dominion reminds us that Trump, too, specifically used their name while inciting insurrection.
"We've amassed overwhelming evidence about a fake election. [...] In addition, there is the highly troubling matter of Dominion voting systems. In one Michigan County alone, 6,000 votes were switched from Trump to Biden, and the same systems are used in the majority of states in our country. [...] There is clear evidence that tens of thousands of votes were switched from President Trump to former Vice President Biden in several counties in Georgia.... This is the most corrupt election in the history, maybe of the world. [...] We must stop the steal. [...] So we're going to, we're going to walk down Pennsylvania Avenue [...] and we're going to the Capitol and we're going to try and give [...] our Republicans, the weak ones, because the strong ones don't need any of our help, we're going to try and give them the kind of pride and boldness that they need to take back our country."


But wait, there's more!

To my absolute delight, Giuliani has already issued a statement responding to the suit:

"Dominion's defamation lawsuit for $1.3B will allow me to investigate their history, finances, and practices fully and completely. The amount being asked for is, quite obviously, intended to frighten people of faint heart. It is another act of intimidation by the hate-filled left-wing to wipe out and censor the exercise of free speech, as well as the ability of lawyers to defend their clients vigorously. As such, we will investigate a countersuit against them for violating these Constitutional rights."

The specific constitutional provisions that guarantee Rudy the right to be free from all consequences for his actions remain unclear. But I know that I, for one, can't WAIT to read the countersuit.

Maybe this is where Zombie JFK Jr. finally comes into play. Right before the Corporation of America is defeated and Donald J. Trump is inaugurated on March 4 as America's 19th president.

Here's the complaint. It's quite the read.

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Jamie Lynn Crofts
Jamie Lynn Crofts is sick of your bullshit. When she’s not wrangling cats, she’s probably writing about nerdy legal stuff, rocking out at karaoke, or tweeting about god knows what. Jamie would kindly like to remind everyone that it’s perfectly legal to tell Bob Murray to eat shit.

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