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We know when we're beat. The New York Times already has the best lede for this story, so we're simply going to admit defeat and use theirs:

A candidate with historically low support from blacks and a lack of ease with religion decided to turn over a church pulpit to a felon with no political experience.

What could go wrong?

A lot, it turned out.

Nothing wrong with bringing together Don King and Donald Trump -- two guys known for being loud obnoxious narcissistic self-promoters -- for an Ohio campaign event at a meeting of black pastors. The only pity is that nobody thought to do it in a barber shop where the "infinity of mirrors" effect might have mesmerized both long enough for a live capture, after which they could be put on display in a safe setting.

King introduced Trump with what could most charitably be described as a lot of word salad, at the risk of offending the Mixed Greens Marketers of America. And while he was at it, King managed to let fly what the Times politely euphemised as a "racial epithet," although it was only one drop of "he said what?" in a veritable tide of WTF:

The Times says that as King offered his thought on the impossibility of assimilation -- or at least we think that's what he was saying? -- "A smile remained fixed on Mr. Trump’s face." Possibly a rubbery frozen rictus, as they say in the Shire. It didn't quite sound like he was endorsing Trump's "assimilate or get out" agenda, but maybe that's exactly what King meant, somewhere in his broken brain.

The Times also briefly reminds us who this Don King fellow is, exactly:

Mr. King was a remarkable choice to represent Mr. Trump. He was convicted of second-degree murder in 1966 and he has been investigated for possible connections to organized crime. He remains a contentious figure in boxing, where he gained fame for promoting many of the sport’s highest-rated matches [...] By the end of his career, former clients, including Mike Tyson, accused him of cheating them out of money.

Nevertheless, Mr. Trump has eagerly promoted Mr. King’s endorsement of his candidacy and even sought to give him a starring role at the Republican National Convention this summer.

The Republican Party did not consent. It barred Mr. King because of his manslaughter conviction.

Kindred spirits, you might say.

King had other thoughts, too, which made every bit as much sense:

Sounds like that outreach to the disenfranchised is going just great, then. Donald Trump the billionaire, much like Jesus, will help all those who have been left behind in America, with the possible exception of everyone he's personally ripped off. But those suckers were asking for it, now weren't they?

[NYT / Oliver Darcy on Twitter / Sopan Deb on Twitter, twice!]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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