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Trump and Giuliani probably didn't fuck after doing this video clip, but it would be irresponsible not to speculate.


Toward the end of Monday night's presidential debate, Donald Trump suggested he was being VERY nice because he held himself back from saying One Mean Thing about Hillary Clinton, something that would have totally made him #winned the debate, but it was just too mean to escape the appleheaded vagina lips of Trump:

I was going to say something extremely rough to Hillary, to her family, and I said to myself, "I can't do it. I just can't do it. It's inappropriate. It's not nice."

Afterward, everybody was like "HUH, wonder what it was!" (Everyone was being sarcastic.) But then the man himself confirmed that he wanted to say something naughty about how Bill Clinton got a beej and stained a dress, but he just COULDN'T, because Chelsea Clinton was in the room, and she's just a little girl, and as we all know, Trump has such respect for little girls that he comments about their tits even when they're his own baby daughter:

“I didn’t want to do my final attack, which was to attack her husband on what took place with respect to him and his life and all of the things that took place because Chelsea, who I happen to think is a wonderful young lady, was in the room, and I didn’t think it would be appropriate,” Mr. Trump said.

Trump told CNN's Dana Bash that maybe he'll say it at the next debate, because maybe it won't be TOO MEAN then, and maybe it will catch Hillary Clinton by surprise (LOL no) and you'll see, at the next debate, Donald Trump won't come off like such a sniffling fuckshit and he will win! (LOL no.)

Dicksnot angerball and Trump fanboy Rudy Giuliani confirmed in the Spin Room after the debate that Trump didn't want to upset poor Chelsea Clinton, which sucks because J'ACCUSE! Hillary calls herself a feminist, which is PFFFFFFFT! because she stayed with a man who committed the biblical sin of adultery against her, WELL I NEVER!

“I sure would’ve talked about what she did to Monica Lewinsky, what that woman standing there did to Monica Lewinsky, trying to paint her as an insane young woman when in fact Monica Lewinsky was an intern,” Giuliani said. “The president of the United States, her husband, disgraced this country with what he did in the Oval Office and she didn’t just stand by him, she attacked Monica Lewinsky. And after being married to Bill Clinton for 20 years, if you didn’t know the moment Monica Lewinsky said that Bill Clinton violated her that she was telling the truth, then you’re too stupid to be president.”

When a Gloria Steinem doppelgänger like Rudy Giuliani says you're not a good feminist, and also that you are stupid, OH BOY!

Also OH BOY! and OMG HI-LARIOUS is the idea of two whore-bags like Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani thinking they can go after Bill Clinton Hillary Clinton, because her husband had an affair and she didn't immediately Vince Foster him right in his Benghazi-hole.

Donald Trump cheated on AT LEAST two of his wives with women who would later become his next wives. And just like poor Chelsea, his kids had to endure that indignity, but at least poor Chelsea's parents stayed together.

Now, Trump surrogate idiot Scottie Nell Hughes said Tuesday on Fox News that Trump's errant fuck patterns don't count, because he's buddies with his former wives, the ones Trump was married to when he was test-banging newer models. Scottie Nell Hughes is an incredible moron, but we already knew that.

And Giuliani! Holy shit! Do we all remember how once upon a time, Giuliani announced IN A PRESS CONFERENCE that he was divorcing a lady named Donna Hanover, and soon after let everybody know that, oh by the way (giggleboners!) he's been banging this other lady? And then he married that lady, Judy Nathan, who is his third and current wife?

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/440245/newt-gingrich-committed-adultery-because-patriotism-made-him-horny"></a>[/wonkbar]Golly, what's next? Newt Gingrich telling us that Bill Clinton's relative lack of infidelities, compared to these slutty men, proves that his wife Hillary doesn't love America enough to be president? Sheesh, at the very least, Billary or Hillary could show their patriotism by fucking Callista Gingrich.

Our point with all this is PLEASE BRING THIS ALL UP, DONALD TRUMP, because here's why:

We don't know what response Hillary might have taped to the inside leg of her red pantsuit, but we bet it goes something like this:

As all Americans who have been married know, there are ups and downs. And the public is well aware of the problems Bill and I went through! But, just like so many other couples, we made it through, and we're still together to this day, just like Donald and Ivana Trump, and Rudy Giuliani and his lovely wife Donna OH WAIT LOL WHAT WERE YOU DIRTY-DICKED TROLLOPS JUST SAYING? BRB GOTTA GO WIN AN ELECTION REAL FAST.

Actually, what Hillary has prepared is probably way better than that! So c'mon, boys. Hillary Clinton wishes you motherfuckers would bring it. Say it. She DARES you.

Or maybe she'll just show this video of Trump motorboating Giuliani on the boobies while Giuliani was dressed in drag:

Yep, that'll do.

[debate transcript via Washington Post / New York TimesCNN / Politico]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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