Donald Trump Attacked Carly Fiorina's Face And She Is MAD (At Democrats, Obviously)
When the anchor throws to Carly Fiorina for her reaction to Trump's momentum, Trump's expression sours in schoolboy disgust as the camera bores in on Fiorina. "Look at that face!" he cries. "Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?!" The laughter grows halting and faint behind him. "I mean, she's a woman, and I'm not s'posedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?"
Fiorina appeared on Fox News to grit her teeth and laugh it off, telling Megyn Kelly that “those comments speak for themselves.” Kelly tried to coax Fiorina into explaining what Trump meant by that -- even though we all know he meant Fiorina's face is too ugly for the White House -- but Fiorina insisted she's "not going to spend a single cycle wondering what Donald Trump means." Aw, man, and we were so hoping to hear Fiorina say the words, "My face is NOT ugly, Donald Trump!" Fiorina added, "Maybe, just maybe, I'm getting under his skin a little bit because I am climbing in the polls." She also appeared on "The O'Reilly Factor" to not spend a single cycle wondering what Trump meant by speculating that maybe he was flirting with her. "I think I know when someone’s flirting with me," she joked, ha ha ha dear god smite us now.
True to her promise, she isn't spending any more time addressing Trump's attack on her face. Or, as he has explained, her "persona" because that's what he meant by "face," he meant "persona." (Suuuuuuure, The Donald, sure that's what you meant.) Besides, Carly has a message, it is A Message From Carly, and that message is directed at the real sexists who attacked her wrinkly old persona:
Ladies, note to Democrat Party: We are not a special interest group. We are a majority of the nation. This is the face of a 61-year-old woman, and I am proud of every year and every wrinkle.
Now, what exactly does Trump's attack on Carly have to do with the "Democrat Party"? Um, nothing that we are aware of. Also, ladies, note to Carly: It isn't Democrats who are always saying chick stuff isn't important, because it doesn't even benefit men! Like when Republicans repeatedly insisted that Obamacare coverage of maternity services is unnecessary and unfair to Taxpayer-Americans since only chicks get pregnant. But hey, we're glad to hear Carly Fiorina is taking a bold stand against that sort of thing because the Republican Party is the party of, quote unquote, "women's suffrage." Carly might want to also send A Message From Carly to some of the losers and loudmouths in her own party who think the world would be a better place if women couldn't vote. Eh, but maybe that is the fault of Democrats too, probably.
We are glad Carly found a way to blame Democrats for Donald Trump's attack on her, because she is far too smart too let herself get Trumped like some of those other losers (hi, Rick Perry, how's retirement going?) who have tried to come at Trump and ended up falling down and scraping their brains, ouch. Nope, that is not going to happen to Carly, she's a better strategist than that. Why, just look at how cleverly she complained about the inherent unfairness of the system in order to get CNN to grant her special interest treatment and allow her to be the eleventh person on stage during the Top Ten Candidates debate this Wednesday! Man (and woman, because feminism), we can hardly wait to see how the Democrat Party attacks Carly on Wednesday night and how, we are quite sure, Donald Trump, cherisher of women and the leading candidate in the party of women's suffrage, will definitely have her back.