Donald Trump Bravely Says 'Christmas,' Even In Alabama
Donald Trump meets an anchor baby
While he was in Alabama getting white people excited this weekend, Donald Trump took a few minutes to assure an Alabama radio show host that nobody -- NOBODY -- will be a greater President of Christmas than Donald J. Trump. Trump told host Cliff Sims Friday that he actually goes out of his way to say "Christmas," despite the many dangers of doing so, because, as he explained, "I'm a big believer in the Bible," a book Trump has recently made a point of saying is even better than Trump's The Art of the Deal, by Donald Trump, which must make it a pretty terrific book, although he has yet to refer to any of its contents.
Beyond name-checking the Bible, Trump warned that in America today, "There’s an assault on anything having to do with Christianity," especially Christmas, which has for several years now been the subject of fierce crackdowns, and is only celebrated by frightened Christians in basements with the windows covered. (Skip to about the 5-minute mark in the recording):
They don’t want to use the word Christmas anymore at department stores, there's always lawsuits and unfortunately a lot of those lawsuits are won by the other side. I will assault that. I will go so strongly against so many of the things, when they take away the word Christmas.
We haven't heard of a single lawsuit that forced a department store to stop saying "Christmas," although any number of rightwing panics have erupted over stores that oppressed Christians by using the phrase "happy holidays" in ads. Maybe Trump will give us details on those lawsuits when he provides his proof that the Mexican government decides who it's going to send across the border.
"I go out of my way to use the word ‘Christmas,'” Trump continued, even though he has been warned of the severe dangers he faces in taking such a bold, politically risky stance:
I’ve even had people that do this very professionally, they said, "Oh don’t mention the word Christmas." I say, "Like hell I'm not gonna mention it," though. I get up there, I mention Christmas before I even start speaking. So, I mean, there’s a great assault on Christianity in so many ways.
Donald Trump: A profile in courage. (Another profile in courage: Daily Caller reporter Alex Pappas, who elided out the "Like hell" part of the quote so no Trumpers would need to reach for their smelling salts.)
Also, it's worth mentioning that Trump's heartfelt defense of Christmas came in response to a question by Sims about the Supreme Court's recent decision to throat-cram gay marriage on America. Sims had asked Trump to comment on the "religious liberty implications" of the decision, since, according to Sims, this almost certainly meant the government would be forcing Christian ministers to perform gay weddings against their will. (Do we even need to bother pointing out that this is bullshit? Just in case, let's be clear: No, Christian preachers will not have to do any gay marriages.)
So we have to give Donald Trump credit for being a man of his word. He's so eager to say "Christmas" before he even starts speaking that he actually managed to sidestep a potentially sticky question by yelling "CHRISTMAS!"
Isn't it refreshing how Donald Trump is not at all like a typical politician?
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.