145 Comments

I’m a big believer in the Bible

Uhm, rabid ferret head, there is no mention of the word "Christmas" in the bible.Lots of stuff about being polite and hospitable and kind and treating furrinrs as your brother, though

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You had me at 'naivety scene'.........

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Ye gods, even his balls are tacky

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Because you never know when a blah will try and steal your greasy chicken sammitch and take a sip of your Big Gulp....

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Sincerity, thy name is Trump.

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How long before someone digs up a Christmas card from the Trumps that says "Happy Holidays"?

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"I'm a big believer in the Bible...you know that story about Jonah...well, I'm the freakin' whale! And the one about fishes and the loaves? Well, I brought the caviar to that wingding! And the one about God-zilla? Well, my Trump resort hotel in Tokyo was the only building that that sumbitch coudn't knock over..."

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"And if you don't believe me, just ask Bill O'Reilly, who was there with me at the time!"

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B-b-but my folks just told me that the gheys are definitely suing to force all the churches to do all they ghey weddings all the time! And also, too that polygamists and pedos are definitely also suing for equal rights now, and it's all our fault for supporting the idea that every adult couple should have the same rights.

And also, that sneaky, no-good Obama will absolutely declare martial law and declare himself Master of the Universe any day now!

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Hey, buddy, my balls are SOLID GOLD. Ron Paul called me the other day and said I have to stop making my Christmas balls outta gold because there's not gonna be enough left to reestablish the gold standard. But I said, "Like hell I'm gonna get rid of my gold balls. They're YOOGE, unlike yours, you weak pathetic loser." No way anyone's gonna tell Trump what to do with his Christmas balls, and when I'm president, everyone will hang my balls on their Christmas tree, and it'll be real classy, because when Jesus called me an hour ago, he said to me, "Trump, that's exactly what I would do." But then I told him to take a walk, because what kind of son-of-God doesn't even write his own books? Probably guys like you who get jealous of other men's balls, that's who, and I will go so strongly against ball-coveting sissy-men that Christmas will be all you think about when you see my balls.

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"Pray, lady, pray. Pray across my big brass balls..."

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He surely needs a stylist. I wonder how long it takes.Maybe he sleeps with his head in a special holder, so as not to create a bed-head that calls for 40 minutes of professional help.

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And inside "You're Fired!"

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Then there is the hat hair issue. He did take off the hat for 3 seconds at the Alabama thing and said something about his hair being real.

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♫ August-Christmas time is hereTime for derp and time for fearRand is weak and Huck's a stooge,Chris is big but I am yooge.

I got immigration plans.Me, I hate the Mexicans.Bush and Cruz and Walker bite,Election, expedite. ♫

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