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[contextly_sidebar id="B6LGf5U6VuQYBkTHzYfOGG9MFnWcvMNv"]As we all know, there are two ladies in the world who make whatever sits below Donald Trump's majestic pube merkin stand at attention: Rosa Parks and his daughter, Ivanka. The first we learned at one of the eleventy-gillion Republican debates, when all the candidates were asked which American chick they want to gay-bang on the $10 bill. The other we learned when Trump, unprompted, mouth-gasmed to Rolling Stone that if he "weren’t happily married and, ya know, her father," he sure would appreciate the opportunity to erect his own personal Trump Tower IN HIS DAUGHTER'S PANTS.

[contextly_sidebar id="MZvQD6zrwPR2zaiV1UvqKDp10vbvAqKM"]Guess who's not hot? That mean wherever-bleeder, Megyn Kelly, that's who. Seems Trump was mighty miffed when Kelly told this story to Vanity Fair:

"[H]e would send me press clippings about me that he would just sign ‘Donald Trump.’ And he called from time to time to compliment a segment. I didn’t know why he was doing that. And then when he announced that he was running for president, it became more clear. But I can’t be wooed. I was never going to love him, and I was never going to hate him.”

Gross, weird, bad, ick, but then again, this is a guy who says creepersexual words about his daughter. So Trump got on Twitter to whine, because he always gets on Twitter to whine:

Well, according to Megyn's story, Donald Trump did! To be fair, that might have been before he realized what a looker Ivanka is. Also, fact check, Megyn Kelly's husband, Mr. Megyn Kelly, says she is, quote unquote:

[L]ike a combination of Walter Cronkite, Barbara Walters, Oprah Winfrey, and then a Grisham character who’s a scrappy guy from the other side of the tracks who has a rare gift for the law, in a Grace Kelly package, with a little Larry the Cable Guy sprinkled on top.

So hot! Or, to put it another way, Ted Nugent sure enjoys jerking off to her.

[contextly_sidebar id="BR6BLhD09HF0NwtoNSErIEOa2XOEh4nP"]But oh how haha hilarious funny it is that Trump's now saying rude talk about Megyn Kelly's looks, since it was her mean question about his comments on OTHER ladies' looks ("You’ve called women you don’t like fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and disgusting animals…") that started all this in the first place. At the time he simply said there was "blood coming out of her wherever," but he didn't say her wherever was "ugly" or "average." And he said all kinds of mean shit about Megyn Kelly in the immediate aftermath of PeriodGate, but nothing about how she's nowhere near as fuckable as the human woman Donald Trump shooted sperms inside a lady to make.

He has now, though, because he's so classy and terrific, obviously. But let's be fair to Trump. Maybe he didn't mean Megyn's looks were average. Maybe he was just saying her persona is completely unbonable, like he said about Carly Fiorina.

Just kiddin', Donald Trump is a misogynistic motherfucker, and he was definitely talking about Megyn Kelly's looks.

[Vanity Fair]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Let the quitfiring begin! Donald Trump's own internal polls are shit, so obviously it's time to fire the pollsters. Last week, the New York Times reported that Trump is freaking out and using his ancient, unsecured cellphone to make late night booty calls to his old pals for a little rub and tug to his ego. Russia, if you're listening ... and we know you are.

The Ego in Chief is flipping his shit because his own pollster Tony Fabrizio -- of Paul Manafort kickback and internal polling shared with Russians fame -- showed Trump trailing Biden badly this March in 11 swing states, with close races in six others. Trump's campaign manager Brad "Pube Beard" Parscale has been bragging about expanding his campaign into New Mexico, New Hampshire, and Nevada, at the same time his internal polls show them losing Pennsylvania by 16, Wisconsin by 11, Minnesota by 14, Michigan by 13, North Carolina by 8, Virginia by 17, and Ohio by 1. Fabrizio even showed him losing Georgia by 6!

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