Donald Trump Doesn't Want Debate Moderators, Because They Might Ask Him Questions

whiny baby is whining again

Hooray, it's time for another episode of "Donald Trump tries to weasel out of the debates because deep down he's very insecure about his intelligence"! His debate prep strategy has been basically nonexistent, he's not attempting to learn things, and he already knows the rules are SUPER unfair. And he still thinks Matt Lauer did a great job at that B.S. Commander-in-Chief Forum thingie, so he has come up with a new idea: What if there were debates, but there were no mean people sitting at a desk asking him hard questions that he just knows will be rigged against him? What if it was just Hillary and Trump, arguing about who is more YOOGE?

“As far as the debates are concerned, the system is being gamed because everybody said that I won the debate, you know, the so-called forum that your group put on,” Trump said during a phone interview with CNBC’s “Squawk Box.” “But they all said I won and that Matt Lauer was easy on me. Well he wasn’t. He was — I thought he was very professional, I have to be honest. I think he’s been treated very unfairly, but they all said that I won, and what they’re doing is they’re gaming the system so that when I go into the debate, I’m gonna get — be treated very, very unfairly by the moderators.” [...]

"... I think, maybe, we should have no moderator. Let Hillary and I sit there and just debate because I think the system is being rigged so it’s gonna be a very unfair debate, and I can see it happening right now because everyone’s saying that he was soft on Trump. Well now the new person’s gonna try to be really hard on Trump just to show, you know, the establishment what he can do. So I think it’s very unfair what they’re doing. So I think we should have a debate with no moderators — just Hillary and I sitting there talking.”

But that won't be fair to Mister Trump neither! Hillary, after all, is not a Donald Trump supporter, and she's so brazen about her lack of support that she is running for president against him! And heaven only knows, she is a Benghazi email criminal, which means she should be IN JAIL, and any debate where Hillary is present and not IN JAIL is inherently rigged, isn't it? To be safe, they should probably just let Trump do the debates by himself, on Twitter, and immediately declare him the winner.

Poor Little Donald. She is going to kick his ass so hard.

Apparently the message -- that debates where ladies are allowed to sit there saying questions and doing wherever-bleeding, and where other mean journalists are allowed to question Trump's greatness -- has gone out all over Trump-land already, because one of his spokesgoons, Jeffrey Lord, said on CNN that Trump's idea for no debate moderators was great -- like the Lincoln-Douglas debates, he said! -- and on top of that, networks shouldn't even fact-check the candidates, because here is why:

I think it was Chris Wallace ... who said he’s not going to sit there and be a fact checker. I think that's up to the American people.

You know, some of these fact checking — quote, unquote — sites are basically liberal. And they have a bias going into it. So, I really don’t count them much as fact checkers.

Oh god, we cannot believe we are about to type this, because it's so trite and overused, but FACTS HAVE A WELL KNOWN LIBERAL BIAS, and that's why they seem horribly unfair to conservatives, who live in a bigoted fantasy-land inside their own assholes.

Anyway, can't hardly wait to see the rest of the excuses Trump comes up with to try to get out of the debates. If all else fails, he could just pull a Jill Stein and jet to the wrong city, ZING.


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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