Donald Trump Fires Macy's For Letting Mexican Rapists Into America
Trumpendammerung 2015 continues today, as Macy's becomes the latest of the Great White Shart's branding associates to say "Adios, puto!" After Trump's assertion that Mexico is "sending" a whole bunch of rapists and murderers and, he assumes, "some good people" across the border, it's as if the Trump magic has worn off, and a whole bunch of businesses have sleepily rubbed the gold-leaf fairy dust out of their eyes, wondering why they ever hooked up with that asshole in the first place. And now, all the gold accents in the world won't help Trump, because nobody likes gilt by association.
In a battle of the press releases, Macy's said it would remove Trump-branded merch from its stores because the guy's a turd:
We are disappointed and distressed by recent remarks about immigrants from Mexico. We do not believe the disparaging characterizations portray an accurate picture of the many Mexicans, Mexican Americans and Latinos who have made so many valuable contributions to the success of our nation.
In typical Trump fashion, Trump insisted -- on much classier digital stationery, we should note -- that he's the one who broke up with Macy's because they are just not a quality organization at all, very low quality, but what are you going to do?
No, you should not make anything of the fact that Macy's released its statement first. It was all Trump's idea. Trump just happened to pick today as the day that he would finally cut ties with Macy's for its Chinese-made Trump merch, which was never a big-dollar part of the Trump Brand anyway, let's be honest, but Trump had no choice but to let it be made in China because those crafty Chinese manipulated their currency and forced him to let the stuff be made there, ow, ow, his fiscal arm hurts so much from those sneaky bastards twisting it behind his back. But now he is free, free to speak the truth! And we hope you are ready for the truth, which is that Macy's -- a department store -- is weak on immigration policy:
Buzzfeed's Chris Geidner nails it (to the wall):
Yr Wonkette feels perfectly comfortable predicting that MoMA may eventually devote an entire wing to Trump's experiments in postmodernism.
Li Xiu Ying, a worker at a Chinese factory making Trump-branded shirts, released a statement saying "I have decided after much consideration to terminate my association with the Trump Organization, and will now devote my creative energies to whatever American-bound crap is sent down the line next. Also, I look forward to my scheduled sleep break on Saturday, and enjoy my job very much. Thank you."
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.