Donald Trump Has Found His Next Wife!

It's almost as if the Miss America organization doesn't hate Muslims like they should

Sad news for the people of Puerto Rico! They have lost their official beauty queen. Miss Puerto Rico 2015, Destiny Velez, was suspended after sending a number of anti-Muslim tweets on the Twitter machine, in response to a provocative post by filmmaker Michael Moore last week. To protest Donald Trump's completely legal, well thought out proposal to ban Muslims from America, Moore stood in front of Trump Tower in New York with a sign reading "WE ARE ALL MUSLIM":

Such effrontery! Then again, he was right in front of the building.

Moore also published an open letter to America's Favorite Psychopath, condemning Trump's very popular paranoia:

here we are in 2015 and, like many other angry white guys, you are frightened by a bogeyman who is out to get you. That bogeyman, in your mind, are all Muslims. Not just the ones who have killed, but ALL MUSLIMS [...]

I was raised to believe that we are all each other's brother and sister, regardless of race, creed or color. That means if you want to ban Muslims, you are first going to have to ban me. And everyone else.

We are all Muslim.

Just as we are all Mexican, we are all Catholic and Jewish and white and black and every shade in between. We are all children of God (or nature or whatever you believe in), part of the human family, and nothing you say or do can change that fact one iota.

Moore's act of near-treason was almost too much for Ms. Velez, a good girl who loves Jesus and America too. In a series of Tweets (from her now-suspended account), Velez said all sorts of charming things that represent what Real Americans think, according to some prick who considered her trolling of Moore "almost as beautiful as she is":

We honestly have no idea what the second part of "Muslims use our constitution to terrorize USA & plant gas stations" means, but she sure was a hit with the wingnuttosphere, like Michael Cantrell at Young Conservatives, who said Moore shouldn't presume to "speak on behalf of the human race when making this asinine statement" and praised Velez's "epic" tweetstorm, which "basically shredded [Moore] to pieces on Twitter." The nine full-time staffers at Twitchy seem to have captured the text of Velez's now-vanished tweets, which included such theological and geopolitical gems as these:

  • Stop fighting a Godly war that doesn't belong to u for u are a proclaimed atheist. This is a matter of faith NOT economics
  • I'll believe that Muslims & Christians are the same when I hear them sing in their mosques "I love Jesus yes I do!"
  • every religion has a name for god. Doesn't mean they're all the same god.
  • NO the God of Abraham is NOT allah
  • get your facts straight. Ishmael was a bad product of a messed up 1 night stand Abraham had with a servant
  • Abraham must have seen the terrorist within him Ishmael
  • why do ppl want to separate Muslims from Isis when ISIS is a group of Muslim fanatics
  • when someone has cancer in their body it has to be removed. The body itself has self immunization
  • Muslim religion is a copy cat of Judaism. Muslims copied Jews beards
  • Many pull out the card of Muslims serving in our military. Are they in the military cuz they love our nation or to acquire benefits
  • I don't believe in religion so can't be #Islamaphobic

[contextly_sidebar id="xe0ePDuc7YrsD3ek28bH3cfaQAme6DRV"]We suppose this is as good a place as any to remind you, kids, that the Miss America pageant promotes itself as a "scholarship program." It's just a scholarship program with butt adhesive. And some contestants who are semi-literate bigots.

Still, the organization wasn't about to have a representative who's saying downright un-MissAmerican stuff about Muslims, even though everyone knows they aren't really Americans. So Velez was out, shunned even by the Miss Puerto Rico Organization, which issued a statement apologizing for Velez's comments and saying they "do not represent the integrity and esteem of our program, nor that of our board members, our sponsors and partners, or the National Organization" -- and especially not their advertisers.

Velez herself also notpologized, insisting that as a hashtag of some sort, she is against meanness of all kinds, even if by some remarkable coincidence it should emerge from her own broken brain:

I apologize to the people I have offended with my words. I am first and foremost an #UpStander and as such I stand up against bullying. The last thing I wanted to do was to bully anyone. Again, I apologize to anyone who felt offended with my words.

Ah, yes, sorry you felt offended, even though I bullied you with the Gospel truth, amen. You know, it's funny when you think about it -- a Latina who can't see the problem with lumping everyone from one group in with a tiny minority of violent thugs. Which reminds us, given all the horrible drug gang murders in Mexico, should Puerto Rico even have a representative in the Miss America pageant?

In any case, we would simply like to point out that once he's ready to trade in his current wife for a newer model, Donald Trump can find a genuine former beauty queen who shares his views. And now that she's been suspended by the pageant that competes with his own Miss Universe meatshow, Trump won't even have to feel any pangs of brand disloyalty.

[CNN / Western Journalism / Young Conservatives / Twitchy / Michael Moore]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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