Donald Trump HEREBY ORDERS Jobs Report To Be AWESOME!!!1!

Get excited for the Jobs Numbers! President Norms Molester was hyping them up yesterday, in yet another attempt to goose the market to make himself look better.

A regular president doesn't talk about employment data before its release to the public, since his comments can cause market swings. But when you're a washed up reality TV star, they let ya do it!

In point of fact, the numbers are just okay. The economy gained 130,000 jobs in August, which is 30,000 fewer than economists had projected. About 25,000 of those jobs are temporary hires for the Census. In addition, the number of new jobs created in June and July has been revised down by a total of 20,000.

The economy is clearly slowing down, adding an average of 143,000 jobs per month in 2019, compared to 192,000 in 2018. Obama averaged 223,000 in his last three years in office, but Stephanie Grisham failed to mention that when she was hyping Donald Trump's masterful understanding of ECONOMY this morning.

These people are so bloody aggrieved! They can never just tell a lie about the INCREDIBLE jobs numbers, they always have to add a SUCK IT, HATERS! Because when you're a Republican, pissing off liberals is a perfectly good substitute for actual accomplishments.

Grisham's link to Brent Bozell's CNSNews is some impressive cherrypicking as well. While IRL journalists are collectively noting that this number could be a whole lot better, CNS is bizarrely trumpeting the total number of Americans employed as "a record 157,878,000 in August, the 21st record set under President Donald Trump." That's definitely not the top of the line number here, and no one else is talking about it. America's population is increasing by about 2 million per year, so the total number of people working could actually rise, even if the employment rate fell, because ... MATH.

CNS is also super psyched about black unemployment which remains at 5.5 percent -- always a priority for Bozell, who once likened Barack Obama to a "skinny ghetto crackhead." Of course, Mr. Bozell once referred to Donald Trump as "the greatest charlatan of them all," so we know he does possess a certain, necessary moral flexibility.

And speaking of moral flexibility, let's check in with renowned swamp monster and Trump's very own campaign manager Brad Parscale.

Wow, sounds like wages are going up more than 3 percent per month! They're not, but it's no accident that you might get that impression. Nice of Brad to mention The Blacks though, because we know that's a big priority for Donald Trump.

The thing is, the employment numbers are basically okay. Mining and retail jobs are down, and manufacturing appears to be stagnating. But unemployment is low, wages, hours, and labor force participation are slowly ticking up, and the service sector looks all right. Your Wonkette is not A ECONOMIST, but the Times's economics reporter Ben Casselman has a great thread breaking it down.

Basically, we might be headed for a precipitous downturn, but we might not. If Donald Trump would just act like a not-crazy person and acknowledge that manufacturing is taking a hit from the trade war, while promising that he's going to fix that shit pronto, he might just stumble through.

LOL, we are silly on a Friday.

Great, now lie some more about who pays those tariffs.

So there you have it. The economy has had several years of strong growth which is clearly slowing down, and instead of a leader we have Grandpa Bugfuck yelling at the clouds and pretending that a Chinese recession equals an American boom. Which is not how any of this works. And that demented sumbitch is still talking about Alabama!

It's probably time to cash out your savings and buy gold.


[WaPo / BLS Employment Situation Summary]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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