Can Donald Trump Jr. Read? Or Is He Just Lazy? Or A Liar? All These?

Trying to be charitable here, it is our New Year's resolution.

Donald Trump Jr. was doing one of his OnlyFans sessions — hahaha made you throw up your breakfast, because you just imagined DJTJ having an OnlyFans first thing in the morning.

Anyway, so Donald Trump Jr. was doing one of his OnlyFans sessions (NOT A REAL ONLYFANS, IS CHEAP KNOCKOFF) — the kind where he seems a bit hyper and like he's sucking in a lot of air — and he was mad. In particular, he was mad about an article in the esteemed Time magazine, which said that exercising is racist.

Whoa if true, right?

It's not true. The tweet we're pasting will spoiler that it is not true. But really, watch this video and see what God's Most Embarrassing Moment, New Year's Eve, 1977, is so angry about.

“Junior’s ranting about an article that supposedly says exercise is racist to black women. I read it. It’s an interview of author who wrote book about history of exercise in US. One part notes at turn of 20th century racists wanted white women in better shape to have more babies.”

— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦) 1672679563 

Junior said people "have lost their minds more than I thought," which surprised him because "the amount of lost mind is strong to, let's say, really really strong." Direct quote.

He showed the headline of the article in Time , which refers to "the white supremacist origins of exercise." Oh golly, that set him off. "Exercise is now white supremacy!" he whined based only on the headline.

Junior ranted that "It's either white supremacy or climate change, LIDDDURRALLY EVERYTHING is one of those things, good, bad or indifferent, they will blame it on all of those things!" That's how he pronounced "literally" and the rest of the sentence was that everything is either white supremacy or climate change. Gotcha, buddy. 

Junior claimed Time magazine wants to "get rid of exercise." He said he assumes they want this because they don't want people to be "self-sufficient or masculine." That does sound like Time magazine.

"This is in Time magazine. Exercise is now APPARENTLY racist! THAT'S how insane we're getting!" Junior said it would be far less racist to just listen to the science that says fitness is good. He said it's "probably [...] literally killing people" to ignore these things. "Letting people go about being obese is literally killing people under the guise of protecting them from racism!"

His voice was breaking. The way it shook when he tried to pronounce the word "guise," oh boy it was something.

Did Junior read the article?

Can Junior read?

Is Junior just lying to whatever morons tune in to his fake knockoff OnlyFans?

Was Junior too lazy to actually prepare for his videoboner session and just started ranting about the first headline he could find that mentioned white supremacy or racism?

Because the article he thinks he's mad about says LIDDDDDURRALLY nothing about any of the contents of his rant. It's really interesting, though!

First of all, it's not remotely anti-exercise. Time even suggests that a good place to read it would be on the treadmill or the stationary bike. It's an interview with Natalia Mehlman Petrzela, an exercise historian, about the history and evolution of exercise in America. ( She has a new book coming out this month.)

Among many other things, Mehlman Petrzela explains how fitness gurus in the early 20th century sounded extremely progressive on the one hand — they thought corsets were stupid and that women should seek to become strong! — but then she found out something else in her research:

Then you keep reading, and they’re saying white women should start building up their strength because we need more white babies. They’re writing during an incredible amount of immigration, soon after enslaved people have been emancipated. This is totally part of a white supremacy project. So that was a real “holy crap” moment as a historian, where deep archival research really reveals the contradictions of this moment.

Oh damn!

Now look, the rest of the interview is fascinating and we absolutely recommend it.

But that is literally the only part that's about race. That's it . An exercise historian found out in her research that in the early 20th century the fitness movement was encouraging white women to get big and strong and tough so they could have lots of white babies. She said it was a "holy crap" moment.

That's it .

This historian is not anti-exercise. She's not saying "and because early 20th century fitness dudes had this weird white supremacist thing going on, STOP DOING THOSE CRUNCHES RIGHT NOW!" She's all for exercise. And she's teaching us some history in the process!

Charitably, we reassert the very real possibility that Junior didn't read a fucking word of the article, he just saw "white supremacist" in the headline and got triggered.

Because if that whiny white MAGA man rant came from a person who did read the article? If that's all it takes for these losers to start crying that Time magazine is trying to confiscate their masculinity?

Lord, that would be sad.

Also will probably end up on Tucker Carlson's show by the end of the week.

[ Time ]

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