Donald Trump Jr. Obviously Inherited His Smarts From His Daddy
One of the most heartbreaking things about the 2016 election is realizing how stupid and gross Donald Trump's oldest sons are. But which one is stupider, Donald Trump, Jr. or his little brother Eric? Which one is the grossest? You voted in our poll, and 35% percent say it is Eric who is the most grossbadstupid, the one whose persona takes you into Uncanny Valley-land the fastest. Only 11% of you picked Junior, and the rest voted for the funny answer we wrote as a third choice.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/605783/that-eric-trump-boy-just-aint-all-that-bright"></a>[/wonkbar]But maybe if we spend some time looking at the shit Junior has been retweeting the past couple days, you will reconsider and at least agree with us that Junior and Eric are EQUALLY dumb and pathetic and yucky and bad.
For instance, Thursday morning, after MSNBC's dumb Commander-In-Chief Forum, which was dumb, Junior was eating boogers and Playing Twitter (just like his daddy does), and he tweeted a very hard-hitting journalism article from very serious journalist Alex Jones, about how Hillary Clinton was obviously wearing an earpiece during the forum:
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/602633/is-obama-activating-million-beyonce-army-to-make-him-dictator-for-life-probably"></a>[/wonkbar]Bless his heart. His mediocre daddy thinks Alex Jones is smart, so obviously Junior thinks so too. Maybe Junior can tell us all about how President Obama is raising up an army of Beyoncés to destroy America next, because that's a thing Alex Jones believes.
During the same Booger/Twitter time, Junior retweeted known dumbass Matt Drudge, claiming that if you ask Hillary hard questions, you get kicked out of her aero-plane. We don't know whether she waits for the plane to land before kicking them out, but probably not.
Poor Junior. He's been raised to incorrectly believe his daddy is the smartest man in the room, even though that's only true when his dad is taking a shit in his private chamber in Trump Tower, so he buys into the idea that Hillary can't handle the tough questions. Hillary, of course, is being criticized by upwardly failing idiots like Joe Scarborough and Chuck Todd because her answers Wednesday night were too "detailed," because ladies with actual intelligence and knowledge are intimidating and confusing. Junior probably hears Hillary's detailed policy explanations and knows they don't sound anything like his daddy's linguistic grunts, so she must be a dumb moron lady.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/606336/obama-not-wearing-wedding-ring-in-laos-probably-for-gay-muslim-reasons-again"></a>[/wonkbar]Maybe Little Trump would like to share some conspiracy theories about how Obama doesn't wear his wedding ring because of secret Muslim gay reasons, because Drudge was pushing shit like that just yesterday. OH WAIT, FORGOT, his daddy is a birther, and daddy always knows best, so Junior is probably a birther too, because he's stupid.
Wednesday, Donald Trump, Jr., posted this hilarious picture, along with a joke that he made up inside his own skull, with the admittedly weak and sad brain matter God gave him:
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/606166/donald-trumps-idiot-son-says-shut-up-and-stop-making-fun-of-his-dad"></a>[/wonkbar]Times like these we usually like to say something like, "Well at least he's pretty," but ... ahem.
Hey, remember that time Junior's Daddy went to Mexico and was too much of a pussy to stand up to Enrique Peña Nieto, and Junior cried and cried because people were making fun of his dad? That was hilarious.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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