Donald Trump Just Teasing, Won't Commit Murder To Test Idiot Fans' Loyalty

You can tell he's being silly because his appleheaded vagina mouth is in the "giggle" position.

[contextly_sidebar id="gJagYeV4xvV9W0Z8HNXoHkBvPjOKnMQC"]Donald J. Trump's jokes are too funny for average people to understand sometimes. This weekend, he said, "I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters, OK? It’s, like, incredible." Incredible! YOOOGE! His supporters laughed and giggled and ate lard frosting directly from each other's armpits like they always do, and the Trump rally was declared an unequivocal success.

[contextly_sidebar id="wXQA7nNsC1Zf767aKkr7z7WrK3iTnw6b"]But then the lamestream media was like "Well yeah, his supporters are definitely that stupid, but really, Trump? Gonna prove your point by killing folks dead?" And Marco Rubio was like "OH SILLYPANTS, THE DONALD, DON'T DO THAT," but he added that it's a damn shame the people of New York don't even have the freedom to pull a Trump by committing 5th Avenue murder.

But there's no reason for us to be talking about none of this anyhow, because Trump was just doing a tease. AND YOU ALL FELL FOR IT!

Fox Business Network host Maria Bartiromo asked Trump if he would say such a thing as President.

"As President, I wouldn't," Trump said, adding that he has to be "a little bit verbose" because he's running against so many people for the GOP nomination.

"That comment was said with me laughing and thousands of other people laughing. It was said as a joke — obviously it was a joke," Trump said.

See, when you ARE president, you have to be polite and nice, but when you're just RUNNING for president, you can say all the silliness, and what's the big? Besides, Trump's just worried nobody will notice him if he doesn't OCCASIONALLY say something outrageous. And another thing:

"We were all having fun. And every once in a while I like to be a little bit politically incorrect," he continued. "There's nothing wrong with that."

[contextly_sidebar id="8PQogiBk18Uy6zdjDuehev5WxyKgzLID"]A little comment about deporting all Muslim American citizens here, a witty aside about Megyn Kelly's gaping, bleeding crevasse of a vagina there, etc. All in good fun and LOL and sue him if you don't like it.

Note that he simply said he would not say things like that as president. He undoubtedly would. Note as well that he did not challenge the underlying assumption of his hilarious tease joke, that his followers are so dumb they'd eat moose diarrhea out of Sarah Palin's hand if Trump told them it would Make America Great Again. They ARE that dumb.

[contextly_sidebar id="ygpAy7J6OFZJFoEslX2DACHju1PthZy0"]Speaking of, guess who ELSE says Trump's fans are that dumb? Those silly racist wannabe intellectuals over at National Review, that's who! Piling on the anti-Trump symposium that brought "thinkers" like Glenn Beck and Dana Loesch together to say "TRUMPSUX" (and that got them fired from the upcoming Republican debate), they published a whole new piece this week to explain that his supporters are illiterate paste-gobbling village idiots with triple nipples:

Thomas Aquinas cautioned against “homo unius libri,” a warning that would not get very far with the typical Trump voter stuck sniggering over “homo.” (They’d snigger over “snigger,” too, for similar reasons.)

OOH BITCHY CATTY HISS HISS RAWR! Read the whole column if you have nothing else to do for the rest of your life.

In response, Dead Breitbart dribbly-shart John Nolte wrote a SO MAD dribbly-shart column about how no YOU'RE stupid, and afterward locked himself in the bathroom like a typical Trump supporter, to masturbate to technicolor sex fantasies of Trump shooting people in the face on 5th Avenue in New York, with his penis.


[Talking Points Memo]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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