He's actually sitting in his mom's basement, in his PJs


You already knew Donald Trump is the world's greatest billionaire. And deal-maker. And author. And Christian. And, if elected, "the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency," according to his personal physician. He's also the world's greatest Republican presidential candidate of all time, obviously and duh.

But did you know he is also, on top of all those things, the world's greatest blogger? Here is an epic rant he blogged on his World Wide Web internet site, Donald J Trump dot com, about this totally unstable individual who keeps trying to start a flame war with him, in the presidential primary:

Ted Cruz is a totally unstable individual. He is the single biggest liar I’ve ever come across, in politics or otherwise, and I have seen some of the best of them. His statements are totally untrue and completely outrageous. It is hard to believe a person who proclaims to be a Christian could be so dishonest and lie so much.

Cruz has lied so many lies about Trump, it is nearly impossible to count them all. Thankfully, Donald Trump is the world's greatest lies-counter of all time. For example:

Cruz says I am pro-choice, when in fact I am staunchly pro-life and have been for a long time. Like Ronald Reagan, on many issues, I have evolved.

Cruz says I am in favor of ObamaCare, when in fact I have spoken about repealing and replacing this disaster of a system at every speech throughout my campaign and since it’s [sic] inception. Meanwhile, Cruz was responsible for getting Bush to put in the judge that failed to vote against ObamaCare twice.

IN FACT, there are so many other untrue falsehoods that Cruz has lied about Trump, it is obvious Cruz has lost his damn mind:

Cruz has become unhinged and is lying with the hopes that his statements will go unchecked until after the election and he will save his failing campaign.

Fortunately, Trump is aware of all internet traditions, and he will not hesitate to go directly to the moderators to have this incendiary user "Ted Cruz" ban-hammered if necessary:

[T]he RNC should intervene and if they don’t they are in default of their pledge to me.

[contextly_sidebar id="Rmhz2uNfHudwPl2jojkAAHBodMYZfrop"]If the front-pagers of the Republican National Committee will not live up to their pledge to protect Trump from these ad hominem attacks, Trump will appeal to an even higher authority, to defend himself:

One of the ways I can fight back is to bring a lawsuit against him relative to the fact that he was born in Canada and therefore cannot be President. If he doesn’t take down his false ads and retract his lies, I will do so immediately.

Trump has previously warned Cruz (LINK) that his Canadianism could be a real problem for the Republican Party, and some evil Democrat might file a lawsuit (LINK) against him, for being from Canada. But if Cruz doesn't stop saying jerk lies in his mother tongue of Canadastan, Trump will have no choice but to be that evil Democrat because Ted Cruz is a jerk and Donald Trump is the greatest, bestest, strongest, most everythingest candidate there is:

I am the strongest on the borders and I will build a wall, and it will be a real wall.

A real wall. Not one of those fake, imaginary kinds of walls you'd probably get from lying jerk Ted Cruz, of Canada.

I am strongest on illegal immigration, strongest on ISIS, strongest on the military and I will take care of our Vets. I will end common core and preserve the second amendment. I will renegotiate our trade deals and bring our jobs back to our country. I am the only person who will Make America Great Again.

And with that, Trump dropped the mic, hit publish, and sat back to read the comments, even though everyone knows you should never do that.

[Donald J. Trump's blog]

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