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Donald Trump Now Waving His Junk At Hot Transgendered Miss Universe Lady (AUDIO!)

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Oh, Donald Trump, WHY did you get out of the presidential race? Whyyyyyyy? First your Miss Universe pageant, that you own, was all nuh uh beautiful transgendered Miss Canada contestant, you did not feeeeel like a natural woman (woman). And then they were all, eh, why not, chick is super, SUPER hot! And then Gloria Allred got in it (as she does) and was all HEY WE DIDN'T ASK TRUMP SHOW US HIIIIIS PEE-PEE? And then Donald Trump opened his yap because he cannot not open his yap, andcalled into TMZ Live (?!) and said, "I think Gloria would be very impressed with my cock." (We think it was "cock." TMZ elides it in his transcript as [my penis], and their media player is crap. Anyway, we will assume that Donald Trump is calling into TMZ and talking about his "cock," because it's exactly what we would do if we were Donald Trump.)


Here is TMZ's audio of Trump's call. Maybe it will play for you? OOOH OOOH! WAS IT 'MONSTER SCHLONG'? [TMZ, via Wonkette operative "LimeyLizzie"]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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