Just because you hear me saying things is no reason to listen to me.

Donald Trump is once again explaining that just because you heard him saying things, that doesn't necessarily mean he actually said those things, at least not the way you thought he meant them. Why would he go and say something that sounds crazy, after all? God, you're dumb. Which is why you need Donald Trump so much, because he is smart.

This time, it happens to be those times you thought you heard him saying the Orlando massacre could have been stopped if only some of those people partying at the Pulse nightclub had been armed and had shot back. No, he never said that, and if you parse it really carefully, he really didn't, except when he kind of did. Because he never really says anything, you see.

On Monday, Trump tweeted that his meaning was always perfectly obvious:

We kind of had to include that first reply there, too.

Now, where would you have gotten the crazy idea Trump said anything about people drinking and carrying guns? Possibly from that time when he specifically said the victims at Pulse should have been carrying, the day after the shooting, to rightwing radio host Howie Carr:

It's too bad that some of the young people that were killed over the weekend didn't have guns, you know, attached to their hips, frankly, and, you know, where bullets could have flown in the opposite direction" [...]

"It would have been a much different deal," he continued. "I mean, it sounded like there were no guns. They had a security guard. Other than that there were no guns in the room. Had people been able to fire back, it would have been a much different outcome.

So that sure sounds a heck of a lot like he meant some of the people who were dancing and drinking should have been armed. As does this bit of great video where he references the great people actually in the club, not some hypothetical security guards:

If some of those great people that were in that club that night had guns strapped to their waist or strapped to their ankle, and the bullets were going in the other direction, aimed at this guy, who was just -- open target practice, you woulda had...nothing like the carnage.

Or maybe you might have gotten that impression from his speech in Houston Friday, when he fantasized about some quick Rambo action on the part of some unspecified "people" at Pulse:

"If we had people where the bullets were going in the opposite direction, right smack between the eyes of this maniac," Trump began to openly consider. He then added: "That would've been a beautiful, beautiful sight, folks."

Are you going to say security guards aren't people, you monster?

Or from a rally in Arizona Saturday, where Trump said,

If in that club, you had some people, not a lot of people ... but if you had somebody with a gun strapped on to their hip, somebody with a gun strapped on to their ankle and you had bullets going in the opposite direction, right at this animal who did this, you would have had a very, very different result[.]

It's nice to know now that he was talking about armed guards or employees, who he never mentioned once until media nit-pickers said it might be a bad idea for nightclub patrons to be drinking and carrying. It's also nice to know it was obvious that's what he meant by "those great people" and "some of the young people who were killed," although if you want to get really technical about it, the one security guard at the club was not killed, although he did send some bullets in the other direction. And missed. That's not supposed to happen!

On ABC's "This Week" Sunday, the NRA's chief lobbyist, Chris Cox, seemed almost skeptical of the notion that clubgoers ought to be armed:

“No one thinks that people should go into a nightclub drinking and carrying firearms,” said Cox, forgetting about one person who, at least in passing, does think that. “That defies common sense. It also defies the law.”

In a different interview on CBS's "Face the Nation," NRA executive vice president Wayne LaPierre agreed, telling host John Dickerson, officially at least, that drinking and guns should never go together, no, not ever, although it's a great idea in general to carry guns all the time and be ready to use them, because THEY want to kill us. KILL US ALL!

Dickerson: You have said a good guy with a gun stops a bad guy with a gun. There was a good guy with the gun in the club. Couldn't stop him.

LaPierre: Well, what every place needs is a security plan that protects it.

The fact is, we need to face what's coming. They're trying to kill us. They're not going to attack hard targets. All the hard targets are protected by the government with guns. They're going for vulnerabilities. They're going to go for shopping malls. They're going to go for churches. The fact is, we need vigilance, we need preparedness, we need a full-court press on personal protection. We need to be able to protect ourselves.

Dickerson: Donald Trump has suggesting concealed-carry in nightclub, where people are drinking? Is that a good idea?

LaPierre: I don't think you should have firearms where people are drinking.

But I will tell you this. Everybody, every American starts to have -- needs to start having a security plan. We need to be able to protect ourselves, because they're coming. And they're going for vulnerable spots, and this country needs to realize it.

Wherever you go. Locked and loaded. Overlapping fields of fire. Never go out without a fire team. They're everywhere. Trying to kill us. Load up on guns and bring your friends. Carry responsibly, and don't drink while carrying. Besides, responsible firearms owners are also responsible drinkers, and don't go bringing up silly outliers like the sponsor of Tennessee's concealed carry in bars law who was arrested in 2011 while driving drunk and carrying a concealed weapon. Oh, yeah, that's his mug shot there. Hell of a great guy. Very responsible, and ready to defend himself if he had been attacked by a terrorist while weaving all over the road.

For the sake of accuracy, we probably should mention that in states where you're allowed to have a gun in a bar, which the NRA backed if you hadn't guessed that already, you aren't supposed to drink while carrying. That's probably enforced really strictly, we bet.

[TPM / Gawker / AP / NBC / ABC News / CBS News / NYT]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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