Donald Trump, Orator and Statesman: 'I Will Be Better Than Anybody'

• Good news, everybody! Offensive joke Donald Trump is almost done sucking the last few drops of marrow out of our already-rotting political process. What did he do this time, "open his mouth"? Yes, precisely. During a teevee interview which will air today, Donald chortled, "I will be better than anybody. I will do the best job. If I decide to run, I will do the best job. I will be best for this country." Not missing a beat, he added: "And, you may say, 'Oh, gee, that doesn't sound like George Washington.' Well, guess what? Before George Washington ran, he didn't sound like George Washington either." Someone please blow the timeout/rape whistle! What are you talking about, Donald Trump? The latest NBC/Wall Street Journal poll has Donald as the Tea Bagger favorite in 2012, making him the new billionaire pin-up girl for Angry White America. It figures, since he speaks fluent horseshit. [ WaPo / The Hill ]

• "Harvard University professor Gary King found that senators spend about 27% of the time just taunting each other." That only leaves 73% of the day for raising money and peeing/pooping! [ Political Wire ]

• The EPA is considering a new policy which would "dramatically increase permissible radioactive releases in drinking water, food and soil after radiological incidents.” What a strange and unexplainable coincidence! In other news, a giant radioactive rain cloud is heading straight for South Korea. [ PEER ]