He's wearing his big-boy pants!

Donald Trump went to the big Republican congressional retreat in West Virginia last night and gave a speech that was just chock full o' derp. If you're a masochist who wants to see how the State of the Union speech would have sounded with no teleprompters, take a gander at the full video at the bottom of the post. While he was rattling off his own very unique take on all his huge accomplishments and insisting his first year as "president" had been a "tremendous success" because Republicans jammed through a tax cut for rich fuckwads in December, Trump took a moment to praise one of the tremendous Republicans who had made the year so tremendously tremendous: Utah Senator Orrin Hatch, who apparently confessed he has an epic man-crush on Trump. Hatch, the Senate's longest-serving Republican, is exactly the kind of lawmaker Trump likes best: one who'll say the very best things about Donald Trump. Is Hatch tremendous? Even better: He's spectacular.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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