Donald Trump Positively Toward The Negative Of Having Best Brain And Goodest Words, OK?

Donald Trump say good words Thursday opposite of bad words brain work fine in positive sense of negative!

TRUMP: I tested very positively in another sense… I tested positively toward negative. Right? So. No, I tested perfectly this morning, meaning I tested negative. [...] Positively toward the negative!

HOORAY, Trump positive toward the negative of the testing! Perfect test of coronavirus, negative and positive at same time! Everybody says it was perfect, READ THE TRANSCRIPT!

Donald Trump say it is not TOO many coronavirus cases in US America, they say "per capita," because Trump say "when you say 'per capita,' there's many per capitas, it's like per capita, relative to what?" GOOD QUESTION, RIGHT? America coronavirus cases "at the top, meaning positive, on a per capita basis!" That is just what's great about the way it is!

Donald Trump brain function pretty good, OK?

Know what this is just like? When Donald Trump take big brain test and doctor says, "Donald, here is brain teaser nobody else can solve! Which one camel?" And Donald Trump knows which one is camel and which ones are positively toward the negative in terms of being "camel," depending on which per capita you are using, OK? Donald Trump win brain test, by circling camel!

Anyway, flashback over!

Donald Trump Thursday afternoon BIG ANGRY Fox News bad TV friend for Donald Trump!

You know? YOU KNOW?

Donald Trump go airplane to Michigan Thursday, YAY, do they know which one is "camel"? DO THEY KNOW? Donald Trump will show them, because he likes Michigan and here is why:

TRUMP: Michigan is a great state. I've gotten tremendous business to go to Michigan. Michigan is one of the reasons I ran. I was honored in Michigan long before I thought about — I was honored as the Man of the Year in Michigan at a big event.

Democrat loser journalists very rude, say things like "there is no Michigan Man Of The Year" and "there was no big event" and "Why does he say this constantly, what on earth does he think he remembers?" But Donald Trump remembers MICHIGAN MAN OF THE YEAR, IT IS THE AWARD, IT IS THE BIGGEST AWARD, AND HE HAS IT.

"I remember so well," added Trump, who remembers that day just like it was "camel."

Donald Trump go back to Washington from Michigan Man Of The Year trip — says some real Nazi shit at a Ford factory first — because gotta go see Stinky Melania, hiiiiiiiiiii Stinky Melania! OK, gotta go watch Fox News again now, byyyyyyyyyyye Stinky Melania! Donald Trump see very sad story on the Tucker show! Oh no, how can this be! MUST TWEET QUESTIONS!


Donald Trump get in bed after big day, Donald Trump very tired, Donald Trump going to relax now, Donald Trump ALL OF A SUDDEN GET VERY MAD AND CALL MICHIGAN ATTORNEY GENERAL A BITCH!

OK that's better, Michigan attorney general lady will never be Michigan Man of the Year like Donald Trump, OK, goodnight, ZZZZZZZ.

This has been a news report about the president of the United States of America. All words presented in quote marks as quotes from the president of the United States of America are, in fact, quotes from the president of the United States of America.

You know, in case you are a historian from the future and you find this blog post. This was the 45th president of America, and he had the best words.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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