Donald Trump Preparing For Sunday's Debate By ... Oh Screw It
He's already so good at this, why would he change?
SPOILER: Donald Trump is not actually preparing for Sunday's town hall-style presidential debate with Hillary Clinton. ALTERNATE SPOILER: He is preparing, but just like last time, the campaign is trying to set expectations as low as possible, so even if Trump drops a deuce on stage, he will be considered a winner as long as he doesn't throw it at somebody. Yes, even after his disastrous first debate performance, it looks like Trump is going to go face to face with voters and just wing it.
Oh, Trump held a town hall event in New Hampshire on Thursday, that some were saying maybe was debate practice. About that:
[T]he softball questions selected from a Trump-friendly crowd offered little practice for a nominee who desperately needs to overcome his widely panned performance in last week’s debate. [...]
The GOP nominee insisted that Thursday’s gathering, moderated by conservative radio host Howie Carr, a Trump supporter, “has nothing to do with Sunday.”
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/607286/donald-trump-will-sue-hillary-clinton-for-quoting-his-stupid-mouth-words-verbatim"></a>[/wonkbar]According to Huffington Post, the questions were REALLY hard, like "What would you say to convince Hispanics who are deceived by Obama, Clinton and the biased media to vote for you?" and "What is your favorite childhood memory?" Oh, those poor deceived Hispanics! They probably saw some of those Hillary Clinton ads that quote Trump verbatim and have thus been misled into believing Donald Trump has said the things Donald Trump has said, like about how Mexicans are rapists.
During the debate, he also bitched about
how tough it is to work microphones how HAAAAAARD the questions at the first debate were, because Trump is a very stupid man:
“She gets easy ones,” he said. “By the way, have you noticed the difference? I’m getting boom, boom, boom. With her, ‘What would you do to fix the economy?’ Of course, that’s actually a much tougher question than you would understand, and she doesn’t have a clue, but you see the questions I was getting.”
What a whiny, dumb baby.
Politico notes that Sunday's debate -- there is a Sunday night debate and we will tell you lies about it in a different post! -- will be 90 minutes long and nobody gets to go potty the whole time, unless they do it onstage, whereas at Trump's "town hall" dog and pony show, he left after 30 minutes, which really shows the STAMINA Trump has for being president, or for sitting still for more than 30 minutes.
So, why does Trump not need to do debate prep this time around? He says it's because Frail Old Monster Grandmother Hillary Clinton isn't doing debate prep either:
“I said forget debate prep. I mean, give me a break,” Trump said at one point. “Do you really think that Hillary Clinton is debate-prepping for three or four days. Hillary Clinton is resting, okay?”
Why, she is probably eating bon-bons and watching "The Good Wife," and that's when she's not in a coma from all the pneumonia and dysentery that's infecting her frail body!
Now get THIS. Trump says during his New Hampshire town hall that Hillary is wearing a pantsuit-style bathrobe and catching some ZZZZ's right now. So on "Fox & Friends" Friday morning ...
“Hillary, they’re saying, is resting,” said Ainsley Earhardt this morning on Fox & Friends at the start of an interview with Sean Hannity, who called into the show like his pal Trump usually does. “She’s resting up for the debate. And Donald Trump is preparing — he’s out there on the campaign trail.”
THEY'RE SAYING. And as Mediaite reports, this was on the Fox News chyron Friday morning:
Mediaite ALSO shares a screenshot of a Donald Trump press release that came out this week, and it's like ... HMMMM! Crazy coincidence? Or maybe Fox staffers are just as creative and brilliant as Trump staffers? That must be it.
You know, when Roger Ailes was kicked out of Fox News for sex-sliming half the females in the building, we thought MAYBE the Fox people would stop being such brazen, Trump-licking douche-whistles about this campaign HAHAHAHA just kidding no we didn't think that, we're just fooling.
The point of this post is that Sunday should be AWESOME. (For Hillary.)