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Donald Trump is a Very Serious Presidential Candidate, and he is pissed right off that nobody on planet Earth seems to understand this. Wednesday, he was bitching and moaning about how the Obama administration doesn't even want to hear his completely serious, brilliant plan for defeating ISIS. When Greta van Susteren asked him why he wouldn't share his plan with the world, he said, "Because I don't want to, GRETA!" He has to keep it a secret for when he's totally elected president in 2016. Stop laughing, it's not funny!


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And Trump (Trump! Trump! Trump!) doesn't have time for dumb naysayers like scowly face Fox News wingnut Charles Krauthammer, who thinks it's hilarious that polls show, of all the Republican presidential candidates, Trump is THE most hated, and THE biggest laughingstock of all.

So, of course Trump, because he is the best businessman in the world, and also the best politician, used his incredible wisdom to determine the best way to respond. Stay above the fray and say nothing? Let it roll down his bird's nest of a head and right off his back? Of course not! The only way to heal his wounded pride was a full-stop, pants-sharting temper tantrum, on Twitter:

DUMMY STUPID CLOWNPOOTS PENISBREATH, YOU SUCK AND YOU'RE FIRED! Trump Trump Trump!

Wow, Trump sure did kill Krauthammer dead, with words! Bet that's how he'll defeat ISIS, too. All hail President Donald Trump!

[Talking Points Memo]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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