Donald Trump Wants To Tap Sarah Palin, Wonkette Dies Of Orgasms

Do you believe in miracles, America? Because this happened, when Donald "The Donald Trump" Trump mouth-flapped on a radio show called "The Palin Update," and now we believe in miracles and fortune cookies and immaculate conception and Santa Claus and flying fairy dust and everything:

If there is a Trump administration, could you see maybe picking up the phone, giving the governor a call, picking her brain on some things, or perhaps having her along in some official capacity?

Which governor? Only the best damned half-term subliterate boozin' brawlin' lipsticked grizzly grandma EVER, your favorite and ours, Sarah effin' Palin Too!

Say it, The Donald. SAY IT:

I would love that because she really is somebody that knows what's happening, and she's a special person. She's really a special person. And I think people know that.

Oh Em GAWD, he said it, and we are swooning and fapping furiously. Say more, harder. Faster!

And she's got a following that's unbelievable. I still have people saying, "Oh, get Sarah's support, get Sarah's support!" No matter where I go, everybody loves her. And she's got a tremendous -- she has, like me, she's got some people that don't exactly love us, and we understand who they are, and you sort of forget about that.

Keep going, we're so close:

But she has a tremendously loyal group of people out there for her, and I think now maybe more so than ever, you know -- I'm looking at some of these candidates. They're weak, they're ineffective, and you know, to a degree that's actually almost hard to believe. And you know they like the Sarah Palin kind of strength. You just don't see much of it anymore.

Ahhhhh. So good. Looks like Sarah's purty love words about how Trump is a Real American Hero, just like John McCain, has paid off, because Trump likes Sarah a whole lot:

One of the things I most admire about her is that she took so much nonsense -- lies and disgusting lies -- and she handles it so well. She's tough and smart and just a great woman.

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Lies AND disgusting lies, both kinds! Best. Candidate. EVER!

The only question is which job Trump should tap Sarah for, besides OH ALL OF THEM KATIE. Secretary of Shopping And Stuff And Things Also Too?

Please discuss amongst yourselves while we go, uh, clean off.



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