Donald Trump Was Just Screwin' Around When He Called For Muslim Ban, Y'all

He loves the Muslims! His taco bowl is FULL of hummus!

You know that thing about how shit just falls out of Donald Trump's mouth? Well, back in November, when Trump called for a ban on ALL MUSLIMS entering the US and A, even Muslims who are American citizens doing vacay abroad, it was not actually a case of "shit falling out of his mouth." It was more like his spokeslady Hope Hicks was confirming these things over email, to clarify that yes, Trump means ban the Muslims, and yes, he means all Muslims.

But Wednesday on the radio show hosted by Brian Kilmeade, the very stupidest person to ever stupid on the Fox News network, Trump came out with this zinger of a bullfucking lie:

Well I assume [new London mayor Sadiq Khan] denies there is Islamic terrorism. There is Islamic radical terrorism all over the world right now. It’s a disaster what’s going on. I assume he is denying that. I assume he is like our President that’s denying it's taking place. We have a serious problem, it’s a temporary ban, it hasn’t been called for yet, nobody’s done it, this is just a suggestion until we find out what’s going on. We have radical Islamic terrorism all over the world, you can go to Paris, you can go to San Bernardino, all over the world, if they want to deny it, they can deny it, I don’t choose to deny it.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Oh good golly, it was just a suggestion! He was just offering ideas, like when he's designing his luxurious hotels! Should we put the swimming pool on this side of the property, or should we ban an entire religious group from entering the United States? Trump dunno! He's just asking questions!

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Trump was of course responding to how the new Muslim mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, thinks Trump is a racist, xenophobic marsupial scrotum. And Trump is dumbly fucking wrong to say he "assumes" Khan denies the existence of RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISM. (You have to say those words and ALL-CAPS them for it to count, #AmericaFact.)

Should we check what Khan actually said, when he was calling Donald Trump a trifling goon from whatever ring of hell the bad hair comes from?

Yes, we shall:

What I think the election showed was that actually there is no clash of civilization between Islam and the West. I am the West, I am a Londoner, I’m British, I’m of Islamic faith, Asian origin, Pakistan heritage, so whether it’s [ISIS] or these others who want to destroy our way of life and talk about the West, they’re talking about me. What better antidote to the hatred they spew than someone like me being in this position?

HMMMMM it's almost like Khan is talking about hatred and extremism, but what do we know?

Anyway, now Trump's Muslim ban is "just a suggestion." Is he losing his bigoted, bumbling asshole soul? Nah, because look what he just told The New York Times:

“You win the pennant and now you’re in the World Series — you gonna change?” Mr. Trump said. “People like the way I’m doing.”

He knows his low-information bison-romancing supporters just looooooove it when he's racist and hateful and threatens to build Mexican walls and shit. MMMMM, it's like an erection that lasts exactly four hours and they don't even have to call their doctors!

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]So it's all good. Shit fell out of Trump's mouth on the Fox News radio program, and he didn't mean it, HONEST. Maybe Trump's just butthurt about how Mayor Khan didn't take him up on his offer to be his #SpecialMuslimFriend. Maybe he was distracted because his phone kept going BING! BONG! and it was that mean asshole Elizabeth Warren, skullfucking him on Twitter again.

Whatever it was, he'll still #MakeAmericaGreatAgain, don't you worry, it will be yoooooge.

[Fox News Radio / New York Times]


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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