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Actual wall will be built even more bigly


Donald Trump is making what sounds like new news to everyone with his exciting plan to pay for the Mexico Border Wall by seizing remittances sent by immigrants to their families in their home countries -- presumably whether those families are in Mexico or not. It sounds like a new explanation, except it's been lurking, largely unmentioned, in the idiotic "position paper" on immigration Trump released last August. All that's changed is that he's decided to talk about it and add some details. Hell, Trump probably forgot all about the position paper until some sharp campaign intern reminded him about it.

The "proposal," such as it is, gets a hasty mention immediately following a scary paragraph about all the "tens of thousands of violent beatings, rapes and murders" committed by immigrants:

Meanwhile, Mexico continues to make billions on not only our bad trade deals but also relies heavily on the billions of dollars in remittances sent from illegal immigrants in the United States back to Mexico ($22 billion in 2013 alone) [...]

Mexico must pay for the wall and, until they do, the United States will, among other things: impound all remittance payments derived from illegal wages...

Like all serious documents on international policy, it links to a Fox News story.

Now, to be fair, the two-page memo Trump recently sent to the Washington Post goes into a little more detail about how he'd like to accomplish all that. In his big huge legally dubious plan, Trump says he would cut off those remittances by changing a rule in the USA Patriot Act; the remittances could be restored once Mexico pays a ransom sufficient to built the thousand-mile border wall, a “a one-time payment of $5-10 billion.” Piece of cake! Or bowl of flan, or whatever those people eat.

Trump's memo says Mexico receives "$24 billion a year from Mexican nationals working in the United States" and claims the "majority of that amount comes from illegal aliens. It serves as de facto welfare for poor families in Mexico."

Yes, you read that right: If someone's immigration status is wrong, their wages constitute "welfare" somehow. No, we don't pretend to see the logic there, either.

In any case, the Washington Post notes that Trump is dead wrong, not that this is news:

Nearly $25 billion was sent home by Mexicans living abroad in 2015, mostly in the form of money transfers, according to the Mexican central bank. In his memo, Trump said that “the majority of that amount comes from illegal aliens.”

But that figure includes cash from around the world, not just the United States. In addition, a Government Accountability Office report in January said that it is difficult to track how much money illegal Mexican immigrants are sending versus those working legally in the United States.

Hey, if they're Mexican, they're illegal, aren't they?

[wonkbar]a href="http://wonkette.com/593161/trump-supporters-making-america-great-again-by-beating-homeless-hispanic-dudes"[/wonkbar]In addition to the remittance blackmail, the memo rehashes a number of other ideas from the August policy paper: limiting visas for Mexican tourists and business travelers, just for the hell of it, until Mexico pays for the wall; increasing fees on visas, for border crossings, and for all we know imposing a tax on everyone who watches telenovelas. Oh, and maybe we can encourage American drunks to beat up more Latinos. That'll learn 'em.

Beyond the threat of holding Mexico's economy hostage to extort money for an American construction project, there are one or two other teensy details that Trump hasn't thought through. For one thing, it's dubious whether the anti-terrorism provisions of the Patriot Act can be stretched to cover non-terrorists' money transfers, and then there's the matter of how this proposal (which will never happen anyway) would affect normal, legal international money transfers for business and banking. Much of what Trump wants to do can't simply be put in place by an executive order on Day One. For instance, the memo calls for "a requirement that no alien may wire money outside the United States unless the alien first provides a document establishing his lawful presence in the United States" -- essentially, Trump wants to deputize Western Union into the Border Patrol. Also, considering that illegal immigrants come from all over the world, it's unclear how Mexico would be pressured by blocking remittances from undocumented Salvadorans, Guatemalans, Filipinos, Chinese, or Koreans (after Mexico, those are the top countries of origin of undocumented migrants).

But these are minor details, as are just about any other laws or Constitutional provisions that make America weak. Donald Trump will make America great again, and if some poor foreigners have to lose the wages -- sorry, "welfare" -- they rely on, then they should have thought of that before they let a family member go north. Or wherever. Still, it's a beautiful plan, and it will work, just trust him. If nothing else, he can probably get Mexico to pay for the wall by sending Mexico's president an email pretending to be from the Nigerian finance minister, promising him a cut of the $10 billion he wants to sneak out of the country.

[WaPo via Joe.My.God. / Trump For Philosopher-King / WaPo Trump memo]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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