Donald Trump Will Either Run For President, Stay On Fox, Or Become Ballerina Princess Veterinarian
In what is undoubtedly the YOOGEST news since the last time Donald Trump said anything, Donald Trump hinted today on Fox & Friends that the situation in Washington has become so intolerable, what with the fraud and the lying and the dishonesty and the Obamacare that just doesn't work and is based on a lie because a guy said so on video, that he, Donald Trump, just might have to become president to fix it. No, really, this time he means it: He is genuinely thinking that he should be President. Maybe not that he will actually run, because that is work, but he's very happy to pretend that he faces some kind of Sophie's Choice about doing weekly Fox & Friends visits or making a serious bid for office.
Trump had thoughts on many things, including Barack Obama's denial that Jonathan Gruber sat on his lap and whispered in his ear while he lied to America about Obamacare, and the indisputable fact that Mexico is the New China, because we're being ripped off, and they're “taking our money like it’s coffee,” which is apparently not the way one country should take another's money, and they kept an American citizen in jail just because he broke Mexican law, and what is that even about? Coffee, probably. The Serious Presidential Talk starts around the 5:30 mark in the video:
With a bit of prodding --- which is to say, the Fox & Friends hosts pausing to breathe -- Trump pretended to be worried about the havoc he might wreak on the Fox and the Friends:
Trump: When I look at the gross incompetence, and I look at the people running, I mean, I may surprise you. I may not be able to do your highest rated segment anymore on Monday morning because if I run, they won't allow me to do it, right?"
Steve Doocy: Well, that is correct. So are you saying at this point, it looks like you're gonna be running?
Trump:Well, I'm gonna look at it. I'm gonna look at it. I'm gonna look at who's running. One thing I know: People aren't gonna be ripping us off. Other countries aren't gonna be ripping us off, like China, what they're doing to us is incredible. You look at Saudi Arabia, you look at these countries, we talk about beheadings, they're beheading people all over the place. But you look at what's going on and what's been going on over the years with OPEC and how they play the game with us, with all the energy in the world available, it's just absolutely insane.
One thing's for sure, and that's that Donald Trump isn't going to stand for whatever unspecified ripoffs the Chinese are getting away with, the beheadings that Saudi Arabia is doing everywhere (Saudi Arabia, Syria, Iraq -- they're all about the same, right?) and no more will OPEC bleed us dry at a time of record low oil prices. Damn straight.
Still, if he runs for President, he'd have to leave his chance to pontificate on Fox for eight minutes every Monday, and that might hurt their top-rated segment, so the man has some serious decidering to do.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.