Donald Trump Won't Host G7, Can't Spell It Either
Donald Trump said Monday that, all things considered, he'd rather not hold the annual G7 summit at all this year. It's just not a good time, what with the Europeans being all tied up with a pandemic, his popularity soaring so much that he has to hide from adoring crowds, and all his planning for the nation's freest, fairest election ever in history. Plus he thinks he'll be washing his hair. Or at least he said he'd just rather not do the G7 at all, at least not until after the election. At a presser, Trump told reporters,
I'm much more inclined to do it sometime after the election. [...] We could do it through teleconference or we could do it through a meeting.
He added that holding off on the summit until after Nov. 3 would make for a "better, calmer atmosphere to have a G7."
It's probably all for the best, although there's little reason to think the summit would take place after then, either. If Trump loses, he'll be too busy sulking, hate-tweeting, and/or ordering nuclear strikes on major US population centers. And if he "wins," he'll be too busy consolidating power, ordering the executions of blue-state governors, and ordering nuclear strikes on major US population centers.
It's good to know we can be sure of some things.
Donald Trump has little use for the G7, at least not since George Soros prevented him last year from holding it at his Miami trash palace. He generally hates going to the summits anyway, because they're SO BORING, UGH, and he has to act like he's listening to Angela Merkel and isn't even allowed to punch her. None of his real friends are there, just a bunch of lazy European "allies" who don't tell him he's a genius. Worse, just like with other international gatherings, they make fun of him when he's not right in front of them, and probably when he is.
This year's G7 conference was originally scheduled to take place at Camp David (boring boring boring) in late June, but it was canceled because European leaders were big wusses afraid of an itty-bitty virus in the USA. Like their countries are so great, even.
When Trump announced in May that the summit would be rescheduled for early September, he made clear his complete lack of interest. For one thing, he said, "I don't feel as a G7 it probably represents what's going on in the world. It's a very outdated group of countries" that didn't even have Putin in it. (Not a joke.) And for another, he just scootched around the Oval Office like this, sighing heavily.
Washington Post foreign policy columnist Josh Rogin notes that with less than a month to go before the supposedly rescheduled G7,
Several administration officials told me that, as of yesterday, no firm plans had been set and there seemed to be "no movement" on the summit preparations. [,,,]
Diplomatic sources told me the leaders of France and Germany had already informed the White House that they would not attend in person because of the pandemic. In addition to the G-7, four other countries were invited: Australia, Brazil, India and South Korea. As of yesterday, those governments had no idea whether the event was going to be held in person, over video teleconference or not at all.
Rogin also points out that Trump appeared to only mention his intention to delay the meeting until after November when a reporter asked Trump about the G7. What if everyone had shown up, but Trump forgot they were even coming, and he didn't even show up to pick them up at the airport? How embarrassing, and also Nancy Pelosi's fault.
Because he is a sharp wit who loves to make people laugh, Rogin writes this comical premise:
A constructive G-7 meeting with other large democracies could be immensely valuable in coordinating the international response to the coronavirus pandemic and devising economic strategies for the aftermath.
Before even letting us catch our breath, though, he brings us back to earth by reminding us that in March, Mike Pompeo sabotaged the possibility of the G7 countries issuing a joint statement on the pandemic because he insisted on using the phrase "Wuhan virus" instead of the internationally recognized "SARS-CoV-2," also informally known as the "Trump's a shithead virus."
So probably no G7 until after the election, and maybe not even then, since none of the other members will go along with Trump's repeated efforts to invite Vladimir Putin, who was very unfairly kicked out of the group in 2014 just because he invaded Ukraine and Barack Obama knew that would make Trump look bad.
Hey, that would free up some time for Trump to invite Putin to the White House so they could have their very own summit. They could call it the G-Just-Us-2, and send very mean notes to all the other G7 members telling them they weren't invited because they smell. Oh, just think of all the cool stuff they could add to the Burn Book.
Yr Wonkette is entirely supported by reader donations! Please send us some money if you can, so we can hold our big Wonkette Drinky Summits again sometime next year, Crom willing. In Jerusalem maybe. Like the one in New York, or maybe the one in Rhode Island.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.