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Donald Trump Yells At Rich Lady Arianna Huffington And Tells GOP To Get Mean

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Pus-filled gluteal boil Donald Trump took to the Twittertubes today to comment on the comeliness of sweatshop-celebriporn-blog overseer Arianna Huffington. We thought he liked women with accents? After the whole entire Internet said, "Eew, Donald, SO RUDE!" Trump followed up with a promise of more drama to come: "Don't think my statement on @ariannahuff was harsh, if you knew her and the phony Huffington Post you would understand--- more to follow." Yes, Donald. If only we saw the world through your eyes we would understand. At least until someone mercifully went all Earl of Gloucester on us.


Trump's other big deal this week, in lieu of actually having any convention role, surprising or otherwise, was to suggest that maybe the GOP campaign has been altogether too nice so far. Accepting a made-up award for "Statesman of the Year" from noted diplomacy experts in the Sarasota, FL Republican party, Trump said, in a statesmanlike tone of voice,

"I hope they are tough as hell and mean as hell and they fight fire with fire. And if they do -- and if they're smart because it's all about being smart -- we're going to have a great president of the United States"

Trump went on to statesman the living shit out of the Obama campaign, calling them "bad people" due to "the kind of things they do and the kind of things they say," adding, "These people are vicious." And who have they been vicious to? Decent honest statesmen like Donald Trump, simple job-creators who occasionally have to fire assloads of worthless people who cannot cut it. And then when those successful statesmen try to do for the country what they've done for their businesses, they get cock-blocked by ruthless political operatives who dredge up those losers:

"They've been tough. They've been competitive. They work. They built their business. And honestly, they have left people in their wake, and they've made enemies...They can't really go out there. They can't put it together because all of those people that they beat consistently over a lifetime...all of those people come back to haunt him."

You know, if it weren't for those unattractive, vicious BAD WRITERS, then smart people and statesmen could get something important done, like exposing Barack Obama's forged birth certificate or disseminating important science facts:



Yeah, just like that.

[Twitter / CNN Political Ticker]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Donald Trump held another great big slob picnic in Orlando, Florida, last night, where he "announced" the "start" of his 2020 campaign, which will be exactly like his 2016 campaign except for the minor detail that he's actually been in the White House since 2017, which is really a bummer, man. Still, it's no reason he can't run as an outsider who vows to protect everyday Americans who believe he's just like them. The rally was a mishmash of the same damn shit he's said a million times before, and the rubes loved almost every minute of it except for the boring parts when he talked about stuff he's supposedly achieved in office, because not even his supporters care about trade policy or tariffs. They want an enemy, and they want to be told they and Trump will destroy that enemy together because they are the real Americans. So that's what Trump gave them, again and again, a feast of fear and resentment designed to get them to the polls. It was enough in 2016, and Trump thinks it'll do the job in 2020.

If there was anything new in the speech -- which was mostly Trump reading from a teleprompter, plus the expected weirdass asides -- nobody has identified it. He complained about the press and the crowd chanted "CNN sucks," and he explained what a threat to the nation Hillary Clinton is -- in fact, he mentioned her eight times during the 80-minute rant.

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