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You know, Hillary never cared enough to give you people special marks on apartment applications


Remember how Donald Trump was going to finally go and talk to actual black people, at a black megachurch in Detroit, instead of pretending he was talking to black people at rallies that are mostly full of whites? After that first announcement, we learned that instead of actually addressing the congregation at Great Faith Ministries, Trump would sit quietly during a service and then be interviewed one-on-one, with no audience, by Bishop Wayne T. Jackson, for later broadcast on Jackson's Impact Network cable/streaming service. Thursday, the New York Times learned Trump's campaign didn't even trust him to answer the interview questions on his own, and put together a script for him to follow (this being Donald Trump, there's no knowing whether he'd stick to it, of course):

An eight-page draft script obtained by The New York Times shows 12 questions that Bishop Wayne T. Jackson, the pastor, intends to ask Mr. Trump in the taped question-and-answer session, as well as the responses Mr. Trump is being advised to give.

The proposed answers were devised by aides working for the Trump campaign and the Republican National Committee, according to an official who has been involved in the planning but declined to be identified while speaking about confidential strategy.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/597984/donald-trump-terrific-at-saying-classiest-bible-verses-almost-perfectly"></a>[/wonkbar]Getting a list of interview questions in advance isn't all that unusual, but scripting out the answers certainly is. Not that the answers sound anything but spontaneous, though! For instance, the first question is supposed to be "Are you a Christian and do you believe the Bible is an inspired word of God?" Just to avoid any "Two Corinthians" fuckups, the speechwriters crafted this gem, which is almost exactly like having Donald Trump right in your earholes:

“As I went through my life, things got busy with business, but my family kept me grounded to the truth and the word of God,” the script has Mr. Trump saying. “I treasure my relationship with my family, and through them, I have a strong faith enriched by an ever-wonderful God.”

Likely extemporaneous answer: I love the Bible. It's such a terrific book, I wish I'd written it myself. So inspirational, and can you imagine the royalties and licensing? I like the part where the one guy dies and comes back from the dead, is that a neat trick or what? If I could do that, I'd probably crash my helicopter now and then just to see what it feels like. Simply a great character.

Then there's this excerpt from the scripted answer to the question about whether the Trump campaign is racist:

The proof, as they say, will be in the pudding. Coming into a community is meaningless unless we can offer an alternative to the horrible progressive agenda that has perpetuated a permanent underclass in America [...] This means working hard to provide as many educational options as possible to our parents and children. This means cleaning up drugs and making our neighborhoods and communities safer. We need to get people off welfare and back to work.

Likely spontaneous answer: I don't know what you mean, "racist," if anyone's racist it's crooked Hillary Clinton, who only sees Af-ri-can A-mer-i-cans as votes, it's disgusting. Not to mention the L...B...G...T...Q community. It's really such terrible pandering it makes me sick. I am the best friend the Af-ri-can A-mer-i-can L...B...G...T...Q community has. You know the illegals are taking your jobs, right? And China. We're gonna bring back all the jobs from China. Don't forget the vets! Our vets are forgotten. So terrible. The L...B...G...T...Q Af-ri-can A-mer-i-can vets in the ghetto. We're going to stop those taco trucks. And Mexico will pay for it.

After the New York Times story about the scripted answers was posted online Thursday evening, the Trump campaign announced it had changed its plans again, possibly because everyone on cable news was reading the scripted answers and giggling.

Jason Miller, the senior communications adviser for the Trump campaign, said that Mr. Trump’s plans had changed and that he would address the congregation for five to 10 minutes after the interview. Mr. Trump will then visit neighborhoods with Ben Carson, a onetime campaign rival, who supports Mr. Trump and grew up in Detroit.

“If you know anything about Mr. Trump, it’s that he will want the opportunity to take his vision and message of opportunity directly to the people on Saturday,” Mr. Miller said.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/594687/ben-carson-beated-up-a-robber-one-time-with-his-brain"></a>[/wonkbar]It is not known whether Carson and Trump's walking tour would include a visit to a Popeye's Organization for a discussion of crime prevention strategies.

[NYT / NYT again]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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