Donald Trump's Debate Prep Basically Just Eating Hot Dogs And Trying To Make Roger Ailes Giggle

Probably not a hot dog, unless Trump eats chocolate-covered hot dogs, which would be gross.

Ever since Donald Trump secured the Republican nomination, rational and sane people have been wondering exactly how he is going to weasel out of debating Hillary Clinton, since he's obviously not mentally on her level. He's already tried whining about the debate schedule and that the rules are unfair, and we're certain he'll continue that, since he hasn't actually officially agreed to show up yet. Otherwise, we've heard he's not much for studying and just plans to be himself, which should work out wonderfully for Hillary.

But he's been having debate strategery sessions lately at one of his golf clubs in New Jersey, and Trump and all his closest BFFs are getting together again this Sunday! Won't that be great?

They will gather over lunch at the golf club on Sunday to plot strategy, [Trump campaign manager Kellyanne] Conway confirmed during an appearance on "Fox News Sunday."

“I’ll be at lunch at Bedminster, and I’m sure we’ll have a lively conversation,” she said. “Look, he’s an unconventional candidate, and he’s not going to prepare the way Hillary does, which is, you know, locking her[self] in a room and crammed [sic] her head with all those binders."

Because that's how you do debate prep, with "lively conversation," as opposed to being a big lame nerdface Woman Full Of Binders like Hillary. The Washington Postgives us a little more background on these disco brunches at Bedminster, and how they are preparing Trump to meet that crooked, all powerful Hillary, who is probably too frail to even get up on the debate stage anyway:

He summons his informal band of counselors — including former New York mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, talk-radio host Laura Ingraham and ousted Fox News Channel chairman Roger Ailes — to his New Jersey golf course for Sunday chats. Over bacon cheeseburgers, hot dogs and glasses of Coca-Cola, they test out zingers and chew over ways to refine the Republican nominee’s pitch.

That sounds fabulous. While Hillary The Woman is hunkered over her binders learning "information," like a common woman who lives inside binders, Trump will be on the patio by the golf course, stuffing bacon cheeseburgers and hot dogs into his anal fissure of a mouth, testing out new nicknames for Hillary to see if they elicit LOLs from the most moronic assholes in the world.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]As for other attendees, Trump's new campaign baby-daddy Stephen Bannon was reportedly at the last Sunday Funday, as were Ivanka Trump and her husband, which must have been mighty distracting for Donald, since he's suggested in the past he's into his daughter in the sexual way! They will probably be there this Sunday too, we are guessing, because WTF else do they have to do?

But are they going to practice ANY for the debates? Like, will Roger Ailes put on a blonde wig and bleed out of his wherever while he pretends to be Megyn Kelly asking mean questions? Wasn't that the point of Trump hiring all these new people, so he can have a campaign that's run more professionally? Hahaha, no, you silly goose, that was the LAST campaign shake-up. This one was so Trump can be surrounded by sycophantic yes-men while his campaign dies a fiery death. According to the WaPo, some of his staff have made him some binders full of information, but he hasn't read them. The WaPo also says that if Trump does in fact end up practicing for his debates, Laura Ingraham might play Hillary, which should be magnificent because Laura, like Hillary, is a lady.

But that's all conjecture, as such rehearsals are surely not necessary. They should just keep putting beefs and hot dogs in their faces and coming up with hilarious zingers, because that will obviously be enough to beat Hillary in debate, obviously.

[The Hill / Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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