Donald Trump's Gigantic Brain Doesn't Need Intelligence

Already has all the intelligence he can handle

Donald Trump wants you all to know that it's no biggie that he's skipping out on daily intelligence briefings, because for one thing he's got other people on that, and for another, why would anyone, especially a president of the United States, need to hear the same stupid thing over and over again anyway? While we can definitely empathize, having heard Trump give the same awful stump speech over and over during the campaign, we think maybe it could be a little different when you're the allegedly doing the most important job in the world. Still, says Trump, he's smart enough that he doesn't really need intelligence. In an interview on Fox News Sunday, The Haired One explained to Fox's Chris Wallace that things don't change that much, and he's pretty sure the briefers will let him know if anything new comes up:

I don’t have to be told -- you know, I’m, like, a smart person. I don’t have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day for the next eight years. Could be eight years -- but eight years. I don’t need that. But I do say, "If something should change, let us know."

Look right there at how smart he is -- he even acknowledged the possibility, unlikely though it might be, that he isn't absolutely guaranteed to be president for eight years. Also, he's busy making America great again, and other people can take care of the details: "In the meantime, my generals are great -- are being briefed. And Mike Pence is being briefed, who is, by the way, one of my very good decisions [...] They're being briefed. And I'm being briefed also." There's a whole lot of briefing going on. Besides, it's not like telling him things changes his mind anyway, so why should he have to sit and listen? It's sooooo boooooring:

But if they're going to come in and tell me the exact same thing that they tell me -- you know, it doesn't change, necessarily. Now, there will be times where it might change. I mean, there will be some very fluid situations. I'll be there not every day, but more than that. But I don't need to be told, Chris, the same thing every day, every morning -- same words. "Sir, nothing has changed. Let's go over it again." I don't need that.

It's almost as if Trump has the attention span of a hyperactive five-year-old, and knows it, but that's far more self-awareness than we think he's capable of.

Also, a big shout-out to Teen Vogue for calling attention to a little detail virtually every other media source missed:

The situation is especially ironic given Trump's past criticism of Barack Obama when he falsely believed, without evidence, that the president was missing these same briefings.

Yeah, but that's different. When Trump incorrectly thought Obama skipped briefings, it was because Obama was a lazy black who wasn't paying attention to his job, while Trump is interested in efficiency. Duh.

Trump also rejected out of hand the Washington Post's report on CIA findings that Russian intelligence agencies had hacked American computers to influence the outcome of the 2016 election:

I think it's ridiculous, I think it's just another excuse. I don't believe it. I don't know why and I think it's just -- you know, they talked about all sorts of things. Every week it's another excuse. We had a massive landslide victory, as you know, in the electoral college.

That's a fact -- the 46th-highest electoral win out of America's 58 presidential elections. When a skeptical Chris Wallace asked why the CIA would be making excuses for Hillary Clinton's loss in this massive defeat where she got 2.7 million more votes, Trump repeated his doubts the hacking was done by Russia: "They have no idea if it was Russia, or China, or somebody. It could be somebody sitting in a bed someplace." Wallace pressed again, asking why the CIA would say it was Russia, and Trump said he didn't even think the report really came from the CIA, either, because who can really know anything at all? "I'm not sure they put it out. I think the Democrats are putting it out because they suffered one of the greatest defeats in the history of politics in this country."

You can see why Trump doesn't think he needs intelligence briefings. He won't believe them anyway, so why even show up?

Wallace then amused the president-elect for several minutes by shining a laser pointer on the floor and moving it around, at which the real-estate mogul's eyes widened and he exclaimed, "How are you doing that?!" Trump chased the elusive red dot all around the Fox News studios, careening into equipment and crew. Then he suddenly got distracted and scampered off to bat at Wallace's tie.

[Business insider / The Independent / Teen Vogue / YouTube]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc