Donald Trump's Idiot Son Says Dad Won't Release Taxes, Because Then Everybody Could See His Taxes

Hey, stupid

Hahahahahahaha, how many times have we discussed how stupid both of Donald Trump's oldest sons are? ELEVENTY is the answer, and we are sticking with it. Well, the older boy, Donald The Junior, has struck again! Speaking to the Tribune-Review in Pennsylvania, Junior said this, about his daddy's taxes:

When asked why his father has not released his tax returns as presidential candidates have traditionally done, Trump Jr. said, “Because he's got a 12,000-page tax return that would create … financial auditors out of every person in the country asking questions that would detract from (his father's) main message.”

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]It's like he's worried people might pore over his dad's taxes and start asking questions that Dear Leader doesn't want to answer! How are we going to Make America Great Again like it says on his hat, if somewhere in those 12,000 pages of tax forms, there is hard, nasty evidence that Trump's business dealings are a whole hell of a lot like what we read in Newsweek this week, and that we actually can't trust the man to be the leader of the free world?

Wouldn't it be nicer just to take Trump (who is a pathological liar) at his word, and let him skate by without submitting to the scrutiny that every other serious presidential candidate is subject to? Also too, we still want to see his REAL health records, and NO, telling that fucking quack Dr. Oz about how perfect your body is does not count.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Of course, the pressure is on even more than before for Idiot Boy's dad to release those 12,000 pages of tax papers, even if laymen such as we could never understand them, and even if it showed us all in plain view what scum Trump is. Reid Hoffman, the co-founder of LinkedIn, has offered to give $5 million ameros to veterans' groups, if only Trump will pony up with his tax returns. Hoffman's offer is a matchy-matchy thing for a former Marine, Peter Kiernan, who has started a crowd-funding project to give all the moneys to veterans' organizations. And Trump loves veterans, right? He gives SO MANY DOLLARS to veterans' groups, hahahahaha just kidding no he doesn't.

Anyshizzle, so now we know that the real reason Trump doesn't want us to see his taxes is because if we saw his taxes then we would see his taxes and he doesn't want us to see his taxes we must not ever see his taxes, because of The Reasons.

Did Trump Junior say any other dum-as-fuck things in that interview? Of course! Politifact finds that Trump Daddy is a way bigger liar than Hillz McGhazi. What say Junior?

“I would argue that PolitiFact is a very liberal organization,” Trump Jr. said.

Colin Powell says Daddy Trump is a "national disgrace" and all that other funny stuff he said in his emails. What say Junior?

“He probably doesn't know my father, and he doesn't know the guy that I know,” Trump Jr. said. “I don't think he has the ability to comment on it intelligibly.”

Hey, remember that time Donald Trump Jr. told everybody how his daddy's fucked up, sociopathic parenting made him the person he is today? Alas, the poor thing is under the impression he turned out well.

Dimwitted creep-faced motherfucker needs to shut it, that is what we think.

[Tribune-Review viaCNN, which needs to stop writing Wonkette-style headlines before we have a chance to]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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