Congressman From 'Hee Haw' BURNIN' DOWN That Georgia Senate Race!
The Devil went down to Georgia, he said, "Hi, I'm from the National Republican Senatorial Committee. Let me help you cut some super-fuckin' racist ads against one of your own."
And it sure looks like the Georgia GOP will be getting that fiddle of gold! Check this out.
Doug Collins wants you to think he's a conservative. But before last August when a senate seat opened up, he was far less supportive of the president.
Hold up! That guy talks like Boomhauer on speed, but we're pretty sure we'd remember if he'd announced his support for Mexican gaybortions while prostrating himself at Nancy Pelosi's feet. The supercut of Collins saying he doesn't agree with everything Trump does, as a prelude to an obvious defense of the latest indefensible assault on democracy -- minus the defense -- is also a nice touch.
But HOLY WILLIE HORTON, what is this shit?
Well, Collins and Stacey Abrams did serve in the Georgia legislature together. He was probably just being polite.
Huh, that's weird that these photos are all of black Democrats. Probably just a coinci--
AND IF YOU LOSE, THE DEVIL GETS YOUR SOUUUUUUUUUUUUL!
While we're playing Hide the Salami in your Confederate flag Underoos, let's talk about that claim that "Groups like Conservative Review have given him failing grades, and pro-life groups in Georgia say he can't be trusted and his word means nothing." The anti-abortion stuff is unattributed, so it must be true! But Conservative Review, part of Glenn Beck's Blaze media empire, doesn't appear to like anybody in the Georgia delegation but Jody Hyce.
Nor his this august publication managed to update its ratings since Kelly Loeffler was sworn in as a senator seven weeks ago, leaving its 36 percent "F" grade up on the site for Johnny Isakson, who resigned in August for health reasons, opening up this whole open seat can of worms in the first place.
Look, we're only too happy to see the Republicans kick the shit out of each other. But pretending that Collins is a Trump-hating liberal is NUTS.
From the jump, Trump himself wanted Governor Brian Kemp to appoint Doug Collins to the vacant Isakson seat. But Kemp, who barely squeaked out a win over Stacey Abrams in 2018, chose Loeffler, because she committed upfront to spend $20 million on the race. The GOP is getting absolutely murdered with suburban women, and having Trump at the top of the ticket this cycle isn't going to help. Loeffler is an attractive female entrepreneur who might be able to stop the bleeding.
But Doug Collins, who just came off of filibustering that impeachment like an auctioneer hawking a prize orange steer, won't play ball. And he's probably right that, given a choice, Republicans would probably pick the guy who served in both houses of the Georgia legislature and currently represents the state in Congress over the lady who just walked in the door yesterday and cut a check.
But they're not choosing between Collins and Loeffler, because it's a jungle primary.
Against a single Democrat, either one of them might well be able to reach the 50 percent threshold and take the seat in November. But if they split the Republican vote, one of them is likely to wind up in a runoff with the Democrat in January, after spending millions of dollars to bloody each other up. Which is why the NRSC is losing its shit right now, particularly after Collins refused to be bought off by the offer of becoming the next Acting Director of National Intelligence to get thrown under the bus.
So now, on top of having to defend David Perdue's senate seat (which should be a hold, but they still have to run a campaign), Republicans have to worry about Collins knocking Loeffler out and winding up in a runoff. At which point you're looking at the most expensive race in history, because it might well determine the balance of the Senate.
The Republicans are pissed. And we are laughing.
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.