Dr. Jerome Corsi, Ph.D., Sues Robert Mueller For All The Money On Earth
Somebody must have told supergenius Investigative Reporter and Expert on Hitler Escaping After WW II Jerome Corsi, Ph.D., that even if you call it a "criminal complaint," a grumpy incoherent mess of words thrown at the DOJ Ethics Suggestion Box has no legal standing. So Corsi and his "lawyer," wingnut very smart man Larry Klayman, have filed an actual lawsuit accusing Robert Mueller of doing very bad things and breaking laws, and while it's still full of nonsense, it at least has this going for it: Even though it's essentially another version of his dumb criminal complaint from last week, this time it was submitted to the US District Court in Washington. Get ready for this amazing legal bombshell to blow open the whole criminal fraud of the Mueller investigation, just like that time Klayman sued the blacks for conspiring to elect Barack Obama.
In his lawsuit, Corsi accuses Mueller of trying to force him to give false testimony that Mueller knows damn well is false, by threatening to send Corsi to prison for the rest of his life!!! The complaint also accuses the FBI, CIA, NSA, and DOJ of conspiring to do illegal wire tapps to Corsi, and also accuses Mueller's office of illegally leaking details of Mueller's investigation related to all the stuff Corsi won't stop talking to every media outlet in the world about. Wow Double Wow!
You know it's a hell of a good case, because Google Chrome wanted to know if I wanted it to translate the complaint into English:
The complaint is not afraid to depart from the usual language of your usual boring legal document, like references to "Defendant Mueller and his leftist and Democrat partisan prosecutorial and ethically and legally conflicted staff." In fact, that's at the heart of what Corsi alleges is the injury:
Corsi contends that "threat" came in the form of the plea deal he says he was offered: Say you served as a go-between for Stone and Assange, or we'll send you to prison forever. But you see, Corsi never did any such thing, so he will not be railroaded into a false plea! Yr Wonkette is not a lawyer, but we are fairly certain that being offered a plea deal that you can choose not to accept does not constitute blackmail or a threat, does it?
Along the way, Corsi accused Mueller's office of leaking information about his case to the media, citing an ABC News story from October containing information "that could only possibly have come from Defendant Mueller," although the suit cites no proof the information actually came from Mueller spokesperson Peter Carr, who the lawsuit insists
periodically disclosed and released grand jury information to "favorable media," at the direction of Defendant Mueller and his prosecutorial staff, and thus meet secretly with the media at Paul Restaurant
Evidence any of that happened? Not a bit, as Politico notes:
The court complaint notes that records released through a Freedom of Information Act suit Klayman brought show that Mueller spokesman Peter Carr held numerous in-person meetings with individual journalists who requested them.
The records don't indicate that Carr or anyone else in the office, which is generally regarded as tight-lipped, disclosed secret grand jury information at these sessions.
Yeah, but it makes a better story that way!
In another fun bit -- again, completely unbacked by evidence -- the suit accuses Mueller of siccing the entire intelligence apparatus on Corsi, although the brilliantly competent Klayman lists the wrong law when claiming the NSA and CIA had enough wire tapps on Corsi to make The Conversation look like a Peppa Pig video for little children:
That would actually be the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, big guy, hence the acronym "FISA." Still, Klayman had little choice in making a claim of terrible unlawful surveillance, because otherwise, he wouldn't be able to mention the one significant case he ever won in his life, against the NSA in 2013:
The important thing you have to remember here -- and again, this is straight out of last week's poo-stained document, albeit rephrased some for the sake of billable hours -- is that Robert Mueller is conspiring to overthrow the government, as federal prosecutors are wont to do, and in the process ruin the reputation of a respected conspiracy theorist who took birtherism mainstream.
Fortunately, Corsi knows what these outrageous offenses against his good name are worth: $100 million in compensation, plus another $250 million in punitive damages so Robert Mueller won't do witch hunts against honest liars like Jerome Corsi ever again.
Now: How much for a promise Corsi will just go away forever?
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.