Dumb Duggar Kids Admit Mission Trip Is Basically Sexxxy Beach Vacation For Jesus
Oh look, they are kissing. Bet they're about to do some "mission work" to each other's bathing suit areas.
YR WONKET CALLED IT, MUST CREDIT WONKET! You people out there in internet-ville think oh, Wonkette is such a gas, the way they make up silly stories about how Jill Duggar and her long lanky sex penis "Derick Dillard" are probably in El Salvador on their "mission trip" doing NOT SHIT and also, NOT MISSION WORK. Like so:
Oh, Wonkette, you are so silly with your #Duggarjokes! Yeah, well eat your boners off, HATERS:
Jill Duggar Dillard and Derick Dillard recently reassured concerned fans that they aren’t trying to convert Catholics to their preferred brand of Christianity (they’re Independent Baptists) during their long-term mission trip in Central America. However, while trying to allay fans’ fears that they aren’t wasting their donors’ money on converting people who are already Christians, they basically admitted that they’re spending most of their time in Central America simply preaching to the poor and doing very little to help pull them out of poverty.
EXCUSE US, WHAT? Yr Wonkette has gone on mission trips for Jesus (surprise!) and there are two kinds. One is where you are legit helping people, building houses, feeding people, teaching kids, providing medical care, and so on. (That's the kind we have been on.) And then there are the ones where Pastor Feelybottom spins you around blindfolded, and you stick your finger on a random place on the globe, travel to that distant land, and tell all the natives they're going to hell unless they say a secret prayer to your god, and then everything will be OK.
So the Duggars are on ... neither kind of mission trip? YOU DON'T SAY. Maybe this is why they are offering refunds to the Bible-beating morons who've given them donations!
But wait, it gets worse! Check out this update Jill's boner-buddy husband writed, on the blog for their "ministry":
God did not call us to convert Catholics, but God has called us to follow His example. He has not called us to convert Buddhists, Muslims, Baptists, atheists, Mormons, Lutherans, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Methodists, agnostics, or Hindus. God has called us to Central America to preach the good news of the kingdom of God. My desire is to preach good news to the poor and to proclaim liberty to the captives. I have the greatest treasure in Christ, and I want others to know that hope as well.
Here, poors, have some good news! Here, captives, we proclaim liberty at you! And the Duggar-Dillards are just fine with you being Catholic or atheist or Buddhist, whatever feels right for you, YOLO! And 96 percent of El Salvador is Catholic, so their work is done, pretty much?
But they don't particularly want to feed or clothe the people, either. In fact, the Inquisitr flags this older blog post Jill wrote, where she says basically they're just there to "love on" the locals:
I have loved watching my husband help lead teams, preach to the local believers and love on the people here.
Hi, we're the Duggars! You might know us from our family's sex scandals, but we promise we washed our hands before we came to El Salvador! May we now "love on" you? Also, what are the best places for a young Christian couple to score cheap blow? ALLEGEDLY?
So they're just saying English Jesus words at people in El Salvador who already love Jesus in the Spanish way. That's not a mission trip, really, NOPE.
We've made all sorts of gross jokes about how maybe the real reason Jill and Meth-Dick are south of the border is to make love to Satan on ayahuasca trips, or maybe just giving free Bible verse tramp stamps to the local townspeople, or maybe smuggling drugs for the cartel, or maybe they're taking exotic sex lessons in how to Duggar each other REAL good next time the Lord decides He wants another baby, and we still don't know if any of those things are true. BUT THEY MIGHT BE. You don't know.
Because Wonket has a PRETTY GOOD TRACK RECORD with wild conjectures these days. If we LOL about a potential new House speaker maybe having a sex scandal, HE PROBABLY DOES. If we say, "Oh, that dashing former congressman, Aaron Schock, we bet he's a creeper Republisexual. And OMG who is that dashing blond man at his side? Is that his PERSONAL PHOTOGRAPHER, as the kids are calling it these days?" Turns out that AYUP! that dude was shooting Schock's shots for a whole gay fortnight! Remember? Here is a picture of them!
OMG OOPS WRONG ONE.
Wonkette still has its eye on you boys, Aaron and Jonathon with an O. IN A SEX WAY.
The point, and there is one, is that yr Wonkette is always right, even when you think we are wrong and A Idiot. Now get off our dicks.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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